


Love You Madly

by oof_ouch



Series: I Want To Love You Madly [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A wee bit of angst further down the line, Alternate Universe - Music, As in there is a lot of discussion of lgbtq+ themes, Fluff, Hanamaki likes to break into houses and steal food, Iwaizumi doesn’t deserve this shit, M/M, Matsuhana is a natural disaster and also the most self aware (good for them!), Musician Oikawa Tooru, Song fic, There might be a single straight character, These tags suck!, Trust me this is going to be so good, but actually more of a, i'll explain in the notes, lots of references to music that are not related to the chapter’s song, playlist fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26547817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oof_ouch/pseuds/oof_ouch
Summary: He didn’t know what he expected as he went to open it, so he prepared for the worst. At this point that would probably be Ushiwaka heading a small army of his former fans burning effigies of his face and preparing to tear him limb from limb.Tooru is tired, gay, and just wants to get over the emotional hurdle that is the guy he accidentally maimed. Maybe get a new manager while he's at it. If it's not too much to ask for, it would be nice if Ushijima and Kageyama stopped existing, too. Man, being a world-famous musician sucks sometimes.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou & Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oikawa Tooru & Sugawara Koushi
Series: I Want To Love You Madly [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975216
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	1. Call Me Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy all! Thank you for stopping by this fic! I'm calling this format a playlist fic, where each chapter is loosely based on a different song. I'll put the lyrics that are most relevant to the chapter in the summary, but more often than not there'll be more connections between the two, so I'll also link the song for your listening pleasure. The song in question will be the chapter title. Without further ado, let's get into it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't looking for this  
> But now you're in my way  
> Your stare was holding  
> Ripped jeans, skin was showin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a million other things I should be doing right now, but here we are. As always, I can't promise regular updates, but let's say that I'm a lot more into this fic than SIBSN (sorry).
> 
> Shout out to my beta readers, my friend Megan and also [Anya](https://www.instagram.com/anyanary/) on Instagram!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this first chapter! Let's start with a bang!  
> ~~flapdoodle
> 
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3TGRqZ0a2l1LRblBkJoaDx?si=9_cfTtP4SUuhdIB_P52Xhg)   
>  [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXvczijTQSQ)

Tooru was having the shittiest day of his life, and it wasn’t even noon yet!

Instead of being woken up by his alarm, which he had neglected to set, he was dragged from his dreams by the furious vibrating of the phone on his nightstand. He turned it on and was confronted with the time and the deluge of notifications concerning some scandal he was allegedly involved in.

He didn’t even bother trying to figure out the shitstorm - no, shit hurricane - pouring down across his many social media accounts as he scrambled out of bed, knowing that there would be an impromptu PR meeting later that would break the whole thing down once again. Instead, he went through his regular morning routine, trying to pretend like everything was just dandy as he wrestled with his hair, which for the first time in his life was refusing to cooperate.

At least his breakfast was pretty tasty, though interrupted by a pounding at his door. He didn’t know what he expected as he went to open it, so he prepared for the worst. At this point that would probably be Ushiwaka heading a small army of his former fans burning effigies of his face and preparing to tear him limb from limb.

Instead, he was greeted by Hanamaki’s shit-eating grin. Great, maybe he could clean up some of the mess on Twitter with his dietary habits. In favor of greeting him, Tooru just left the door open and returned to his breakfast.

He heard the door click shut, and after taking his sweet time Hanamaki plopped down in the chair across from him.

“If this is about whatever’s going on online, I’ve decided to live in blissful ignorance until the PR meeting later,” Tooru sighed, trying to drown his sorrows in food.

“Oh, no, I’m not here about that. I mean, that’s what my first fifteen missed calls were about, but the last seven were about something I’m sure you’ll be even more excited about!”

Tooru was going to cry.

“Kageyama’s newest album has officially topped yours! I’m sure it’s unnecessary to point out, but this means his numbers are better after a week than yours are after a month!”

Tooru nearly choked on his mouthful of miso soup.

“ _Fucking Tobio-chan._ ”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyways, you got any leftovers? I was sent to make sure you were still alive since you weren’t answering anybody’s messages, but I only agreed because I knew you’d probably have food.”

“In the fridge,” Tooru said despondently, considering whether or not Makki would let him drown in his soup. No, he would probably save him just so that he could continue to laugh as Tooru’s life crumbled around him.

“To be fair, I’m also pretty pissed that Kageyama beat you. I literally worked so hard on that album, I think it’s some of my best work, but damn, you must be really feeling it.”

“I’ve _been_ feeling it when it comes to Tobio, and in the last hour I’ve been given twenty more things to _feel about_. I’m about to just completely lose it. Britney’s image recovered after having her meltdown, I’m sure I could pull it off, too.” Although, even though his hair hadn’t been working with him, he wasn’t sure if he had the willpower to just shave it off.

“She actually had a valid reason for her breakdown, I don’t think you do. Did you even actually read the headlines?” Hanamaki asked, punching a minute into the microwave. He leaned against the counter, pretending not to see the spillage that had resulted from his messy pour.

Tooru sighed. He had just deep-cleaned the kitchen yesterday. “No, I stopped after I saw 'Oikawa.' Like I said, don’t tell me now. Let me live in ignorance.”

“If I must. Just know that in my eyes, it’s not a big deal. What else is on the docket for today?”

“In about…” Tooru paused, glancing at the clock, “half an hour, I need to leave to pretend to leave a hotel with some woman who’s been paid to pretend that we had a one night stand.”

“Oh, Mizoguchi’s back on his bullshit trying to make you seem straight? God, I hate that guy. Like, nobody cares, and even if they did, forcing you to make it seem like you are is just so stupid.”

“I’m not looking forward to it! I guess the PR meeting’ll be sometime after then, and this evening I have that party to go to, you know, the one Ushiwaka’s gonna be at?”

“And he’s gonna do the thing where he tries to get you to switch labels because he’s a better fucking producer than I am, like the audacity of that bitch, I will never get over it,” Hanamaki said, shaking his head, before suddenly lighting up again. “Wait, wait, I’m betting 2,000 yen right now that he’s gonna bring up the fact that his boyfriend’s one of the best PR agents ever and you’ll definitely need his help.”

“I swear, if he does that, I’m going to deck him right then and there and I’m going to have to ask Tendou to deal with that scandal for me. Oh, yeah, and why’s he allowed to be gay and I’m not? So unfair. Maybe I’ll deck him and then Mizoguchi.” Today was just going to be a day for heavy sighs, wasn’t it? Tooru finished off the rest of his breakfast before looking at the time again. “Hnng, I better finish getting ready. Wanna help me pick an outfit that is appropriate for both sneaking out of a hotel and having Watari look at me with the most disappointed face ever as he shames me for whatever mistake I probably made? I’m running through my closet in my head and I’m at a loss.”

“Yeah, that’s because going through your closet’s like running a whole-ass marathon. Let’s head up to the royal chambers, your highness.” Hanamaki polished the rest of his own soup off before pushing off the counter, conveniently forgetting his bowl there as well. Why Tooru let him in his house in the first place was a mystery for the aliens to solve.

Even though it was disgusting and atrocious, the staging went smoothly, which could be considered bad in and of itself because maybe his manager wouldn’t try to force him to exaggerate being straight if it had epically backfired. The PR meeting had been scheduled for early afternoon, so he was forced to take a grossly early lunch so he wouldn’t be starving by the time Watari was through with him.

Said lunch had been so awful that even Hanamaki wouldn’t have been able to eat it (that’s what Tooru gets for trying new places, presumably). Traffic was just as awful, forcing Tooru to turn off the main roads to make his way through some residential area he was only half familiar with.

Perhaps something was to be said about distracted driving, seeing as while he was trying to pull up directions on his phone he didn’t notice the stop sign, or the person in the crosswalk in front of him.

Tooru slammed on the brakes, but he wasn’t fast enough, and sent the poor guy sprawling across the pavement.

Fuck. At this point he may as well just move to Argentina and become a farmer.

No, because Ushijima would still somehow track him down in order to correct the type of fertilizer he was using on his soybeans, or whatever they grew in Argentina.

Maybe he could be a street performer instead? That could work. He had the voice, and as long as nobody recognized him he’d be fine.

Tooru rushed out of his car to check on the guy he had just _hit oh God, what do you do when you hit somebody with your car?_

The first thing he noticed was that the guy was groaning, which was good because he was alive, but it was also bad because he was very clearly in pain.

“Are you OK? Wait, no, you’re not, uh, I’m so sorry, should I call the police? I can take you to the hospital, fuck, are you OK?”

“I’m - fuck - just take me to the hospital, my leg really fuckin’ hurts right now,” the guy on the ground grunted. As he struggled to roll over to sit up, Tooru ran to his side to help him over. His pants were shredded and the skin below was scraped and bloody, but there were no bones sticking out of his skin. That was good.

With a significant amount of effort on his part, Tooru did his best to gently haul the man off of the ground and into the passenger seat of his car. The hiss of pain he let out made Tooru want to cry, even though he wasn’t the one injured.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, I’ll cover the costs and everything, please forgive me,” Tooru rambled as he tried to remember where the nearest hospital was and how to get to it. If he wasn’t driving right now, he would be on the floor, grovelling for forgiveness. Tooru was not one to grovel, but today was full of unfortunate surprises.

“It’s fine-”

“No, it’s not fine! I hit you with my car!”

“It’s fine. I don’t remember anything about what legally happens in a situation like this, but when we get there just say that I fell. I don’t want to have to find a lawyer or something, and you already agreed to settle the costs, so I’d say it’s fine. It’s fine,” he repeated, seemingly more to himself at this point. “I really need to distract myself right now. Why do you look familiar? I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before.”

So at least he hadn’t harmed one of his serious fans, that was...slightly better. Tooru could look at the bright side of this. The guy wasn’t going to sue him, it wasn’t like he had ruined the life of one of his die-hard fans whose perception of him would be forever altered to the point where they went off the rails and tried to kill him like Syndrome from The Incredibles, and this was going to be something he could look back on one day and laugh about. Fingers crossed. “Yeah, I’m a musician. Oikawa Tooru.”

“Hm. I don’t know if I’ve heard any of your music, but I feel like I saw your name trending on Twitter today.”

Tooru wanted to slam his head against the wheel until he suffered enough brain damage to forget who he was. “Yeah. I woke up to my phone blowing up about that. I haven’t looked at any of it though, I was going to save it for the PR meeting I was heading to, but I suppose that’s not happening now, is it.”

“I guess you’re welcome for that, then.”

“I don’t think it would be right of me to thank you, though. Are you doing OK? I don’t think I have any painkillers in the car, sorry.”

“I’m fine, just keep talking. I never told you my name, right? I’m Iwaizumi Hajime. You know, I’ve never met a celebrity before, it sucks that it had to happen like this.”

“Celebrities are just people that are held to higher standards than others. It wouldn’t have been any different if you had been hit by anybody else, except for the fact that maybe I’m a bit more willing to foot the hospital bill since I have the money. Where were you going?”

“I was walking to my school, I needed to pick something up. Damn, I’ll probably have to take tomorrow off, at least.” Iwaizumi groaned, probably as much from pain as from the realization that he wouldn’t be able to go to work.

“So you’re a teacher?” Tooru asked, doing his best to keep the conversation going and thus distract Iwaizumi. It was the least he could do, and there wasn’t anything wrong with trying to get to know this guy, right?

“Yeah. I teach biology at the high school a couple of blocks away from here. It’s great.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot better than my job. Don’t get me wrong, I love making music, but sometimes it feels like my life isn’t my own, and I’m just some puppet for everyone to manipulate for their own personal benefit. But! My contract with my current manager is expiring soon, so hopefully within a couple of months I’ll be able to regain some semblance of control over my public appearance. The day when I don’t have to do stupid stunts like this morning will be the day I can die peacefully.”

“What’d you do this morning?”

“It’ll be in the tabloids soon enough. I don’t really wanna talk about it now, though. I should probably keep talking about something else, though, huh? I think we’re about ten minutes away from the hospital. Can you hold out that long?”

“I’ve made it this far,” Iwaizumi grunted, and from the corner of his eye Tooru could see his demeanor shift, his jaw setting and his eyes glinting as Iwaizumi prepared for the last leg of the journey.

“Great, uh, what should I talk about? Oh, I can tell you about Makki! So Hanamaki’s my producer, yeah? We’ve been friends since I signed onto my label, which was like five years ago, and today he just decided to come over to my house and eat my food and give me bad news and make a mess of my kitchen. Like, how rude! And then, that son of a bitch tells me that I look like a clown, like today hasn’t already been shit. I mean, your day’s also been pretty shit, but I have to live with the guilt of hitting you with my car. Anyways, he told me I look like a clown, and then he insulted my taste in fashion when he literally dresses like a twelve year old on a good day. I honestly don’t know why I let him into my house if he’s just going to come in, insult me, and spill soup on my floor.”

“Why don’t you just...stop being friends with him, then?”

“Are you kidding me? Makki’s great! He’s saved my ass more times than I can count, he has a great eye for detail, and whenever I get into a funk he always knows what he has to do to get me to remember to take care of myself and stuff. Yeah, he teases me sometimes, but that’s just because he loves me so much.”

“Hm. He kinda reminds me of one of the guys I teach with. If they met they might ruin my life or a metropolitan area, so maybe we should prevent that from happening.”

“Y’know, the way you said that made it sound like you’re gonna be spending a lot of time around the guy who accidentally hit you with a car. But, I’ll definitely be your friend, why didn’t you ask? Oh, oh, that means I’ll need to give you a nickname! Gimme one second to think about it.” Tooru didn’t take his eyes off of the road as he considered his options for a minute, before snapping his fingers as he was struck by the perfect idea. “How about Iwa-chan? I like that, what do you think?”

“I-what?”

“It’s decided then, Iwa-chan! Oh, and perfect timing, there’s the hospital! We’ve made it!”

For the first time over the course of the entire car ride, it was quiet as Tooru found a parking spot as close to the emergency entrance as he could get. After supporting Iwaizumi in, he was whisked away to get x-rays and whatever else the doctors had to do while Tooru waited in the reception area, dreading the call he knew he was going to get as soon as it turned 12:30. He probably should have called earlier to cancel the meeting so he wouldn’t be wasting everybody’s time, but who would invite Watari’s anger when it could be put off to the last minute?

Tooru watched the seconds tick down, and right on time, his phone began trying to convey Watari’s fury through its incessant buzzing. It didn’t come close, probably.

“Watachi! So nice of you to call. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Cut the crap, Oikawa-san. Where are you?”

“The hospital!” Ooh, that would get him. Tooru could all but hear Watari’s anger turning into concern in a matter of moments, all before it converted back to anger times ten when he heard why Tooru was in such a location.

“What happened? Are you hurt?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine. I just accidentally hit somebody with my car when I wasn’t paying attention. I have learned my lesson, though, and I will not be making such a mistake again!” Tooru made sure to lower his voice when divulging the true nature of the accident, just in case there was some eavesdropping nurse who was going to snitch on him and ruin his life again. “Don’t worry, though, Iwa-chan’s not gonna sue me, and I’m still paying for his hospital bill because I’m kind and I feel bad.”

“You gave the guy you hit with your car a nickname.”

Great, Tooru was nearly out of this one. Watari was fixating on the nickname instead of the bigger problem, which probably meant he wasn’t as angry as he was trying to make it seem. “Yes! Iwa-chan and I are friends now, and as you know I give all of my friends nicknames, Watachi.”

“Fine. Fine, I’m not even gonna comment on it. It’s not my problem, I’ll leave you to settle it on your own time. What is my problem, however, is dealing with the accusations of plagiarism in your songwriting. Since I guess you’re not coming to the meeting now, we’ll have to reschedule for either later today or tomorrow.”

Ah, so it really wasn’t that bad. Hanamaki was right for once. Seeing as those claims were definitely unfounded, they could be sorted out with as much ease as scandals could be sorted out with. “Hm, well, I could skip the engagement tonight, depending on whether or not you think it would be best to make an appearance before we’ve released a statement yet.”

“Then I’ll see you at six?”

“Yeah, we should be out of here by then. See you at six! Bye-bye.”

“Bye.”

Tooru hung up with yet another sigh. At least he had gotten out of seeing Ushijima today. The day was already looking up. The day was already looking up! He repeated this mantra to himself as he tried to make himself comfortable on the hard waiting room chair and pulled out his earbuds. He may as well be productive and take some notes on some of the latest releases as he waited.

He managed to get through Tobio’s latest album again, this time paying specific attention to what may have made it more appealing than his own latest release, as well as a few listens to the new singles the Miyas and Akaashi had each put out, by the time he was called in to check on Iwaizumi.

When he entered the room, Iwaizumi was sat up on the cot with a heavy cast on one leg. Tooru couldn’t help but grimace.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked. Tooru was not a cautious person unless he had no idea how to approach a situation, which didn’t happen often. However, he hadn't a clue what he was supposed to do or say as he approached the chair next to Iwaizumi’s bedside. Perhaps it was the guilt, perhaps it was because this day would inevitably send him another screwball, or perhaps now that he was actually taking the time to assess Iwaizumi, Tooru was able to realize that he was kinda hot.

Nope! Nope nope nope. He is not thinking that the guy he hit with his car is _hot_. There had to be some moral reason that that was bad, right? So he wasn’t doing it.

“Well, apparently my leg is broken. This cast is only temporary until I get surgery to set it in place. Other than that, just some scrapes and bruising, so I’d say it could definitely be worse.” The nonchalance in Iwaizumi’s voice made Tooru want to go bonkers. How was he taking this so well? Maybe he was just hopped up on pain medicine. That was the only explanation for Tooru to be feeling worse about this whole thing than Iwaizumi was.

“That’s good to hear, I guess? When’s the surgery?”

“They were able to schedule me for tomorrow morning.”

“Do you need me to drive you there?” Tooru asked, brain working on autopilot and not bothering to think of all of the things he might have to do tomorrow. After all, this was his fault, so it was only right of him to help this guy out where he could. He was being incredibly virtuous, and not at all giving in to his selfish desire to get to know Iwaizumi. Why would he even want to spend more time with Iwaizumi? He was a complete stranger with really nice arms that didn’t even listen to his music.

“Are you sure? You’re probably really busy.” God, the way that Iwaizumi’s brows furrowed was really damn cute for some reason? Where was this coming from?

“Eh, with everything going on right now anything that I have to do tomorrow morning will be something I’ll be glad to have an excuse to get out of. Besides, I still feel bad. It’s really the least I can do.” Tooru was pretty sure that all of those were completely true and as such valid justification for his actions. Hopefully he said it in a way that was nonchalant, but the only thing he was consciously aware of right then was the way that Iwaizumi’s eyes held his. What was up with this! He wasn’t allowed to crush on strangers after knowing them for less than three hours!

Ah, was that what this was? Did he already have a crush on Iwaizumi with absolutely no justification at all, aside from the fact that he was really cute and adorably straightforward and had done nothing to prove that he was anything other than just a genuinely good person? Unfortunate, but that meant that it was just physical attraction, and Tooru could get over that fast enough. Tooru pictured these new feelings being launched into space where they would suffocate in the void before they could grow into something problematic.

“Well, if you really want to, then I won’t tell you no.”

“It’s decided, then! While I’m at it, I can drive you home now, too, if you’re free to go,” Tooru offered.

And so Tooru managed to land himself back in the car with Iwaizumi, a situation he couldn’t say he hated. “You’re sure you’ll be able to manage with a broken leg by yourself?” he asked as he followed Iwaizumi’s directions back to his apartment complex.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. If I need help I can ask my mom or Matsukawa or somebody else.”

“Well, when we get there I can give you my number and you can call me if you need anything, too. Plus you’ll need to text me when to pick you up,” Tooru added before Iwaizumi could object that he had already done enough or something, the righteous bastard.

“Sounds good. Thanks a lot.”

“Like I said! It’s the least I can do.” Tooru flashed one of his trademark celebrity smiles, trying to lay into the whole kind-generous-saint charade. It’s not like he wasn’t, it was just that some people would disagree.

Iwaizumi just huffed, settling deeper into the plush leather seats. Tooru took that as a sign that he was incredibly thankful and thoroughly charmed.

Iwaizumi’s apartment was indeed very close to the location of the accident. As he helped Iwaizumi out of the car, he couldn’t help but wonder which balcony was Iwazumi’s. The one with all of the plants? The one with the lights strung across the railing? The one with the nice chair and table? One of the painfully bland ones?

Iwaizumi seemed capable with the crutches he had been given, which turned out to be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, Tooru wasn’t able to support Iwaizumi as they made their way into the building, but on the other hand, he was able to unabashedly stare as Iwaizumi’s arms flexed with every step. In order to get over this little whatever-it-was, he had to desensitize himself as soon as possible and not be taken by surprise by any cute and/or hot quirks that Iwaizumi might have.

Tooru didn’t want to press his luck by asking to come inside, but he did still need to get Iwaizumi’s number. “Hey, while you’re unlocking the door, can I add myself to your contacts?”

“Knock yourself out,” Iwaizumi said, handing off his phone before going to unlock the door.

Tooru was appalled that Iwaizumi didn’t have a kaomoji keyboard that he could use to spice up his contact name, so he settled for some hearts instead. He looked up in time to see a slice of Iwaizumi’s apartment through the door and the man himself in front of it, looking expectantly towards Tooru. The singer handed the phone back with a smile.

“Well, I suppose I must be off. Call me if you need anything! Uh, sorry for hitting you again! See you tomorrow, Iwa-chan!” Tooru waved as he walked away, going for casual but failing miserably as he walked backwards into a wall. 

(It was worth the embarrassment when he heard Iwaizumi snort out a laugh. _Wait, no, stop that!_ )

\----------

“So, let’s review the situation. Last night, a Twitter user tweeted that the song Serve Looks from your most recent album sounded very similar to the song Royalty from Kageyama Tobio’s second most recent album. From there, the discussion spiralled until it reached the point it’s at now, where you are being accused of copying aspects of Kageyama’s song. Does that make sense?” Watari asked, looking back up from his tablet.

“Yes. But they’re really accusing _me_ of stealing from _Tobio-chan?_ I taught that twerp everything he knows. If anything, he’s the one who copied my methods, and we both ended up with similar songs. Either way, that was the first song I finished off of that album, and it was ages before Tobio released his. How much are they saying is the same?” Tooru spat, reclining in his chair. The nerve some people had to fling around accusations like this, really. On his right, Hanamaki rested his chin on his hand, and on his left sat his stupid fucking manager, Mizoguchi. Offhandedly, Tooru thought that the old man better retire soon, or he would take it upon himself to send the manager out of the industry early.

“The bass and drum parts were near exact duplicates, and the vocal melodies were similar but not similar enough to warrant complaint. Oh, and just the fact that the songs have very similar themes. I’d recommend drafting a statement more or less detailing what you just said but in kinder words, plus a bit about how you came to those melodies yourself and maybe how you do listen to Kageyama’s music enough that there could have been an influence. Not that I’m saying that you intentionally copied him, just that you do listen to his songs a lot and it might have been a factor at play,” Watari soothed at seeing the steam coming out of Tooru’s ears. He wasn’t forgiven, but Tooru wouldn’t chew him out just yet for saying that Tooru had _been influenced_ by Kageyama. “If we could talk to Kageyama to get him to corroborate those claims, we’ll have a suitable case until the next accusation inevitably comes your way. We should probably start working on the statement now, unless you have any other concerns.”

“I’d say you have this handled. I need to be off since I wasn’t planning on having this meeting postponed and have an appointment to uphold. Send me your final to approve. I’ll be off,” Mizoguchi said. He pushed out of his chair and left the meeting room without a second glance.

“I dunno why I’m here, but let’s get cracking, losers,” Hanamaki cawed before manifesting a cream puff out of nowhere and beginning to eat it. “Actually, before we do, why was this meeting postponed after I had already shown up?”

“Oikawa-san?” Watari asked, levelling an eyebrow at his target.

Tooru was by nature an obstinate person, but even he could only last so long under Watari’s glare. “OK, well, here’s the thing. I may or may not have hit somebody with my car, so I drove him to the hospital and then back home and now I’m picking him up to take him to surgery tomorrow morning since I broke his leg? And he needs to get surgery for it? He’s not suing me or anything which is good, but I’m still paying for all of his medical bills because I felt bad.”

“But you never feel bad,” Hanamaki said as if it was like saying that Tooru had broken a law of physics instead of acted slightly out of character. “Was he hot or something?”

He took Tooru’s silence as yes. A correct assumption, but that didn’t stop Tooru from being bitter about it. “Oooooh, somebody’s got a crush! Wow, love at first sight, much? And now you’re driving him back to the hospital? I’m gonna swoon, that’s so romantic. Whenever I finally get myself a man, I think I’ll take him to the hospital for our first date, too. Y’know, since you’re the relationship god over here, having one-night stands left and right. Everybody in Japan is freaking out over the girl you slept with last night.”

Tooru just sighed (by this point he had lost track of how many times he had done that today) while Watari struggled to keep a straight face. “Hey, back on track. Let’s start that draft, yeah?”

An hour later, after slaving away at wording, how to take advantage of the rhetorical situation, and the appropriate usage of ethos, pathos, and logos (“I was a lit minor! I wasted four years learning about that stuff, now that I get a chance to use it you bet your ass I will,” Hanamaki had threatened), they finally had a final draft that was fit to be sent to Mizoguchi and a couple of other PR people to check over. The box of cream puffs that Hanamaki had snuck in lay empty on the table, and Tooru’s brain was fried to almost the same degree it had been that one time he had pulled two consecutive all-nighters to finish a song he had been having absolutely no inspiration for.

“Well, now that that’s over, I’m going to head home. Today was shit, and I’m gonna go eat and sleep before it has the chance to get worse,” Tooru yawned before saying his goodbyes and heading out. The outside air was a refreshing change from the stale meeting room air he had spent the last hour inhaling and it was enough to embolden him to check his phone for possible notifications from Iwaizumi.

Thank the aliens, there were notifications, they were from Iwaizumi, and they didn’t seem outwardly belligerent, which was enough to make Tooru’s brain return to a slightly more solid state. Dare he say that he even felt his heart soar? No, too soon.

<18:34> It’s Iwaizumi. I have to be there by 8:30, so probably pick me up around 8. Here’s my address again.

<19:12> thx iwa-chan!!!! C U tmr!!!!!!!（⌒▽⌒）  
<19:12> also pls don’t share my number with people? i kno it goes without saying but when i gave it to you it meant that i trusted you to not just hand it out to all of your friends or like doxx me or smth

<19:14> Understood. See you tomorrow

\----------

Tooru arrived in the bright morning with an equally bright smile on his face, hiding the fact that he was about to strangle the first person that asked him for an autograph. Fortunately Iwaizumi didn’t try to start a conversation when he got into the car, and most of the drive was spent in silence aside from the initial inquiries of well being.

By the time he got to the waiting room and Iwaizumi was waiting for his name to be called, Tooru was more awake, face burrowed in the collar of his turtleneck. He was lucky to have not been recognized yesterday, but now that he had known he was going out he was able to take precautions to not run the risk today.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi started suddenly, “after anesthesia, normally people are kinda out of it, right? All I ask is that if I say anything incriminating, you keep it under wraps, got it?”

“Of course, Iwa-chan, who do you take me for? I’m very good at keeping secrets, after all,” Tooru said. “I would tell you some of the secrets that I’ve kept, but then it would defeat the whole purpose, so I won’t.”

“Good. How did the PR meeting go yesterday? That was a thing, right?”

“Yeah, it went well. Or at least, it went as well as it could have. We wrote the statement, it should have been approved and gone up this morning. If you hear anybody on the street or something say that I was guilty of the crimes I was accused of, I expect you to defend my honor, Iwa-chan. They’re all out there, spewing dirty lies and defaming my name. I, on the other hand, only speak the truth, and the truth is that if anything, Tobio is the one who stole my process. We just happened to end up in similar places.”

“Sure. Whatever you say, Oikawa.”

“Iwa-chan! Are you accusing me of lying? How rude!”

“Oh, I think they’re calling my name. See you soon,” Iwaizumi said, brushing off the conversation to hobble over to the nurse.

Feigned indignation wasted on Iwaizumi’s back, Tooru pulled out his laptop and tried to figure out what type of piano would best fit one of his tracks. Seeing as his last album was only released last month and his tour was waiting to be scheduled until after he had a new manager, he really had no business working this much on new content, but what else was he supposed to do with this free time?

After deciding on a piano and writing the piano part, changing the type of piano three times in the process, Tooru was finally called to pick up Iwaizumi. As he was walked back by the nurse, he got his camera out, just in case. He wasn’t intending on sharing it, honest, he just wanted to have potential blackmail on hand just in case.

“Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked. As he peeked into Iwaizumi’s room, he could see Iwaizumi himself reclining on the cot, high off of his ass, and with a much more solid-looking cast on than before.

“The fuck is Iwa-chan?” Iwaizumi slurred, squinting at Tooru as if he were speaking in tongues while trying to cheat him at the market.

“That’s you, silly,” Tooru said, already recording.

“I’m not fucking Iwa-chan, I’m fucking Godzilla,” Iwaizumi insisted.

“Well then, Godzilla, I’m here to take you home.” Tooru tried to hold back his giggles to preserve the integrity of his video.

Iwaizumi hummed. “So you’re trying to take care of me? That means we have a sym- symbion- symbionic relationship. Yeah. That’s fucking right. A symbionic mutualistic relationship. I’m a fucking biology teacher, I know what I’m fucking talking about. Wait wait wait, fuck, if I’m Godzilla, and we have a symbionic relationship, does that make you Mothra? You would be a good Mothra, your hair looks fluffy and Mothra is kinda fucking fluffy.”

“Thank you, I’m honored that you think so. Here, why don’t we get you in the wheelchair so you can go home?”

“When we get home, can I take a fucking nap?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Apparently, Iwaizumi couldn’t wait until he got home, passing back out in Tooru’s car minutes after pulling out of the parking lot. By now, Tooru was fairly capable of getting to the apartment building without Iwaizumi’s assistance, so he just let him sleep until they arrived. It took an incredible amount of willpower to wake Iwaizumi up from his nap, but in the end Tooru managed to get over the way Iwaizumi looked so very cute and soft and got him to cooperate in the difficult process of getting up to Iwaizumi’s apartment.

Despite his longing to snoop, Tooru helped Iwaizumi directly to his bed, laying him on top of the covers with his leg propped up on some spare pillows he found. He could probably make some food for when Iwaizumi woke up, but he might be overstaying his welcome at that point. Perhaps he could bring something over tomorrow, Tooru considered as he left without a trace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only broken my arm, so I based Iwaizumi's experience on that.There are still some inaccuracies in the hospital scenes and in the whole musician aspect because I don't know anything, though. Blame it on artistic choice.


	2. Just Can't Get Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh baby I can't come down so please come help me out  
> You got me feelin' high and I can't step off the cloud  
> And I just can't get enough  
> Boy I think about it every night and day  
> I'm addicted, wanna drown inside your love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a bit longer than I wanted because school swamped me, but here it is! Finally! I did get accepted to write for a zine, though, so the next chapter might also be delayed until I'm done with that.
> 
> Also, the playlist for this main fic (and Iwaizumi POV chapters paired with chapters in this fic that will be released as one-shots, it'll become relevant around chapter 6) is pretty much set, but feel free to recommend me other songs for more independent one-shots! I won't make promises, but if by the time I'm done with this fic I don't want to be done with the AU I might just write some more.
> 
> Shoutout to Anya for beta-ing and I'll see you at the bottom!
> 
> ~~flapdoodle
> 
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3JA9Jsuxr4xgHXEawAdCp4?si=QBbdEglMR5er9w3H4eeSbw)   
>  [Youtube](https://youtu.be/8Ojniol06iY)

This was, for all intents and purposes, a bad idea.

What was Tooru doing on one Iwaizumi Hajime’s doorstep? He couldn’t tell you. He could, however, tell you that he was bearing takeout from that one hole-in-the-wall place he only went to on special occasions and that he was hoping that Iwaizumi liked this kind of ramen.

Perhaps it was the heavy bags of food he was tired of holding that spurred him on, or perhaps it was the hammering of his heart, but either way, Tooru found himself knocking on Iwaizumi’s door.

Now all he had to do was wait for Iwaizumi to answer. If anything, this was the worst part; the anticipation was akin to that of when the nominees had just been announced in his category of an award ceremony and he was just waiting to see if he’d won.

For some reason, he felt like he’d won when Iwaizumi’s shocked face finally opened the door.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked.

“What do you think? I got us dinner. Are you going to let me in or not?”

Iwaizumi, still stunned, hobbled aside to allow Tooru entrance. “What if I’ve already eaten?”

“Well, have you?”

“No?”

“Then we’re all good. This is from my favorite ramen place, so you’d better like it.” Tooru set the bags down on Iwaizumi’s kitchen table, much to the relief of his arms. Now that he was actually able to get a good look at Iwaizumi’s apartment, he took his time taking it all in. It was admittedly cute. For how small it was, he had done well with it. There were, in fact, plants on his windowsill, as well as books on the coffee table and unwashed dishes in the sink. It was still to be determined whether or not there were more plants on the balcony, but that would have to wait for another time since Tooru was pretty sure it was only accessible from the bedroom.

“I mean, I’m sure I will, but why did you get me dinner?”

“Dunno. Just felt like it. C’mon, sit down, Broken Leg-chan. Speaking of which, how’re you feeling?”

Iwaizumi accepted the chair Tooru had pulled out and sat down, an action he was clearly not comfortable with yet. “Not bad. It hasn’t hurt that much or anything. I wanted to go back to school today, but my colleagues pressured me into taking an extra day off. I guess it’s fine, though. What did you get?”

Tooru pushed the container toward Iwaizumi, explaining its contents. Iwaizumi nodded, satisfied, before popping it open, giving thanks, and digging in. Tooru laughed under his breath before doing the same.

“What?” Iwaizumi asked, indignant, somehow already almost halfway done. Maybe Tooru should have gotten more.

“It’s nothing, it’s just that you definitely did not eat dinner already.”

“Oh. Yeah, I was just beginning to think about it when you showed up. Just to let you know, don’t think that just because you’re famous or something means that you can just show up to my door uninvited whenever you want. To us regular folks, it’s kinda rude.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t intend on making a habit of it. I just wanted to make sure you were holding up fine, so it was sort of a spur of the moment thing.” This ramen was better than he remembered. Why didn’t he get it more often? “I mean, I guess I could have texted you, but then I wouldn’t have surprised you. You should’ve seen the look on your face.”

“And you’ll never see it again,” Iwaizumi said, stabbing his chopsticks in Tooru’s direction. Somehow, even though there was a bit of broth dribbling down his chin, Iwaizumi’s face still managed to terrify Tooru. His eyes stared into Tooru’s, and the victim swore he felt his soul leave his body for a moment.

“Yessir,” Tooru agreed, staring down at his meal to avoid having to maintain eye contact with Iwaizumi for any longer.

For a moment they just sat in silence, uncomfortable only because they still didn’t know each other that well. At least, if they knew each other, Tooru thought he wouldn’t feel that itching need to fill every down moment with conversation. Now that he considered it, he was almost trying to emulate Hanamaki’s tendency to show up uninvited, eat dinner, and leave, all without saying a word sometimes. That’s what a difference of five years made, apparently. People who had only been friends for three days still felt the need to talk to each other, which was disgusting. Why couldn’t this just be one of those comfortable silences? That would make this ramen even more delicious.

Tooru’s mind raced with possible topics of conversation, starting with the fact that Iwaizumi had just finished his food in record time.

Iwaizumi wiped his mouth on his sleeve, an incredibly rude and brutish action in Tooru’s book, before saying something. Well, that would make up for his previous infringement. “I was actually able to look at some of your stuff this morning while I was wasting away in bed. It’s actually pretty good.”

“Iwa-chan! One of the best artists of this generation and the only thing you have to say is that I’m _pretty good?_ What, may I ask, is very good, in your opinion?” All former good deeds that Iwaizumi may or may not have done were outclassed by his atrocious lack of taste. Perhaps Tooru had been too willing to get him dinner earlier.

“Well, if you really want my whole review, fine. I thought your earlier stuff was the best, but later it got worse because it was obvious that you changed your style to fit what’s popular as opposed to what you enjoy making. I don’t know if that’s because of your management or your own personal choice, but it’s clear that your music is less genuine. I mean, it’s still technically really good, but there’s not as much passion behind it. I guess that’s the difference. As for the music I normally enjoy listening to, it’s mostly stuff from the 80’s and 90’s from here and abroad. In my opinion, they were just two really good decades for music.”

Well, he sure didn’t hold back, now did he? While Tooru’s supposed lack of passion was a common critique circulating the internet, hearing Iwaizumi say it out loud made him wonder if there really was some truth to it. While he hadn’t necessarily been forced to commercialize his music more, maybe in his obsession to beat his competitors he had fallen into the rut of the grind that so many others did.

But this was a revelation to continue pondering for another day. What was really important was that Iwaizumi was an 80’s-90’s kind of guy, and that didn’t tell him anything.

“I agree that those were good decades, but you need to narrow it down for me, Iwa-chan. Are we talking Misato Watanabe or Seikimia-ll? Or when you’re saying abroad, is it Nirvana? Or, like, Culture Club?”

“What if I said that I actually like all four of those? I don’t not like any music, really, unless it’s bad. None of those are bad. My favorites just happen to be from the 80’s and 90’s,” Iwaizumi shrugged.

“Huh, OK. That’s fair. I typically listen to recent stuff just because that’s my whole scene and all, but I do like to listen to a wide range of stuff to get inspiration and also because it’s just good. I can respect that about you, Iwa-chan.” Tooru finished his food and grabbed both of their containers to throw them out.

“Thanks. I still don’t understand why you’re here though,” Iwaizumi said. “Do you usually bring people dinner?”

“Gah, Iwa-chan, does everybody need to have a reason for doing everything? I was out, I was hungry, I still feel a little bad, so I got us ramen. Does there need to be more to it than that?”

“No, you just don’t seem like the kind of guy to do random acts of kindness or listen to your conscience if you feel bad.”

Tooru gasped. “When have I ever done anything to you to prove that I am anything other than kind and generous? The only time I wronged you was the initial incident, but other than that I have been nothing but good to you.”

“I don’t know. You just kinda seem like a shitty guy at heart. You might do good things, but they’re not from good intentions. Or at least selfless ones.”

What was up with Iwaizumi and his freaky ability to pick apart people’s personalities? Because yes, while Tooru would publicly describe himself as an angel, he knew at heart he wasn’t as nice as he pretended to be. He was pretty sure it hadn’t always been like that, but after so long living based on other people’s expectations he had to take every opportunity he could to do something for himself.

So what if he thought Iwaizumi was cool and wanted to befriend him? Last time he checked there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with that.

“While that might be true sometimes, there are absolutely no hidden intentions here. Your psychoanalysis techniques don’t work all of the time, I’ll have you know. And you’re making it seem like it’s a bad thing to be selfish every once in a while? You can’t tell me that you’re not thinking that being friends with a superstar would bring you all kinds of clout.”

“Fine. Whatever you wanna believe, Shittykawa.”

“Iwa-chan! I am hurt, I am offended, I can’t believe that you would call me such a vile name!” Tooru gasped, pretending to faint and draping himself over the counter.

“First off, if you get to call me ‘Iwa-chan’ then I get to call you whatever you want. Second, I’m sure all of the girls you’ve slept with would agree with me,” Iwaizumi said, doing his best to stifle his laughter.

“Ah, so you did see the tabloids.”

“And then I was curious, so I did some digging and found all of the other ones, too.”

“Right. Of course. I can tell you now, they’re all lies.”

“And why should I believe you?” Iwaizumi was grinning in earnest now, and after the amount of strife Tooru had put him through he was glad to see it.

“Well, you didn’t hear it from me, because if there is even a singular rumor that circulates about the truth of the matter Mizoguchi will actually murder me,” Tooru said, trying to convey the importance of secrecy, “but I am very much attracted to men.”

“Oh, is Mizoguchi the manager you were complaining about?” Iwaizumi asked, glossing over the fact that Tooru had just come out to him. Wonderful, he could add “not a homophobe” to his list of reasons why Iwaizumi was a great person.

“Yup! T-minus two months and five days until our contract expires and I can get rid of him!” Tooru skipped back to the table to rejoin Iwaizumi.

“Why’d you sign with him in the first place if you hate him so much?”

“Well, here’s the thing. He’s actually a pretty good manager, which is why I signed a four year contract with him after the first one year contract. But, after I told him that I wanted to come out publicly, we started to butt heads? He thinks that it’ll just ruin my career. Personally, I think that I don’t want homophobes to listen to my music in the first place and most of my fans are young and progressive enough to keep supporting me. Besides, a lot of the people I know in the industry aren’t straight or cisgender and they’re still doing well for themselves, so I don’t know why I can’t do it, too. And, if I come out I can actually be an active voice for LGBTQ+ rights as an established member of the community and maybe I’ll help other people accept themselves if they know that I accept myself, so there’s really no reason not to come out, y’know?” Tooru shrugged. No matter how selfish he may or may not be, he was very familiar with the fear of not knowing whether or not he would be accepted, and he would do the best that he could to minimize the experience for everybody else. Maybe he just wanted to give them the opportunity to be selfish and act upon their own desires, too. “So it’s gonna be one of the first things I do with a new manager.”

“Huh, maybe you’re not so shitty, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi was looking at him again, and Tooru was feeling trapped by his eyes again. What was up with that? Was it like Iwaizumi’s secret super power to spear people with his eyes or something?

“Wow, high praise from Iwa-chan. I’ve maybe told four other people all of that, so it’s weirdly euphoric to tell you. Of course, you can’t tell anybody else right now, got it? I don’t want to have to draw up an NDA just because I wanted to vent to somebody.”

“You’re all good. My lips are sealed.”

At that moment, Tooru’s phone decided to start buzzing. “Ah, fuck. Makki’s about to break into my house. I should probably stop him before the police get called on him again. While I’m sorry to disappoint you for leaving so soon, I’m afraid I must go.” Tooru checked to make sure he had everything before making his way to the door. “I’ll make sure to text you before I come over next time. Until then!”

“Wait, there’s going to be a next time? I thought you said-”

Tooru didn’t have enough time to reply before the door was already closed and he was off to save Hanamaki from getting caught up with the law again.

—————

“Makki, I swear to God, you better not break my window!” Tooru yelled as he sprinted out of his car, preparing to tackle his friend if he didn’t drop that rock right this second. “I told you that I was on my way!”

“Yeah, but that was like twenty minutes ago. I was getting antsy. This is why you need to give me a key, or at least your garage code. Where were you, anyways?” Hanamaki asked, thankfully dropping the rock.

“We both know why giving you unlimited access to my house is a bad idea. But if you must know, I was having dinner with Iwa-chan,” Tooru sighed, opening the door.

“First of all, I actually don’t know why giving me a key would be a bad idea. Second, Iwa-chan’s the one you hit with your car, right? The hot one?”

“Yeah, but I’m over that by now.”

“Good for you, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that you abandoned me for somebody you’ve known for, like, three days. We have history, Tooru. That comes before everything else,” Hanamaki whined as he collapsed over the couch.

“Well, I think you need to make some more friends, Takahiro,” Tooru said as he stuck a bag of popcorn in the microwave, assuming they were about to continue their Star Trek rewatch.

“Well, you could always introduce me to your Iwa-chan,” Hanamaki suggested. He dug between the couch cushions to look for the remote as Tooru waited for the popcorn to pop.

“Who said he was my Iwa-chan?”

“Fine. You could still introduce me to him, though.”

“Here’s the thing. I like Iwa-chan. He’s cool. I want to be his friend,” Tooru explained, massaging his temples. “Introducing you to him would be self-sabotage. You would absolutely ruin any chance I had of maintaining any dignity.”

“Who said you had any dignity in the first place?”

“Shut up and press play, would you?” Tooru grumbled as he took the popcorn out and poured it into a bowl. He joined Hanamaki on the couch as Captain Kirk began to introduce the five-year mission of the starship Enterprise.

————

Tooru kept his word and gave an hour of advance notice to Iwaizumi that he was showing up. It was Sunday, a week from their accidental meeting, and Tooru still wasn’t entirely sure why he was so ready to invest in this relationship, but he did know that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the next time he would be able to see Iwaizumi.

Being around the other man just felt good, and that was all there was to it. Maybe Tooru would soon realize that he was just chasing a first high, but the feeling only ever seemed to grow with time.

“Ya-hoo, Iwa-chan! I come bearing agedashi tofu, as you asked,” Tooru winked, waving around the warm bag as he glided in.

“Thanks. My balance isn’t good enough to do a lot of cooking on my own, so I appreciate it.” After closing the door, Iwaizumi turned around and made his way back over to the table to help Tooru set up.

“Wow, Iwa-chan’s feeling thankful today! I didn’t know that you were capable of that!”

“Don’t push it.”

After giving thanks, they both set into their food.

“This is some of the best agedashi tofu I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot of agedashi tofu,” Iwaizumi remarked, “where’d you get it?”

“Oh, you know Fukunaga? It’s close to that one theater downtown?” Tooru went there pretty often for business lunches, and with the amount of high-profile traffic he brought in Fukunaga had started giving him discounts. The udon there was really good, too.

“Yeah, and I also know that they’re way out of my usual budget. You really didn’t need to go to a place that expensive,” Iwaizumi frowned.

“Well, I know the owner and he gives it to me for half price, but even if he didn’t it’s really not that bad. It’s worth it for the quality.”

“You don’t always have to go showing off your wealth, you know.”

“Fine, you can get dinner next time, then.”

“Sure. You might have to pick it up still, though.”

“Ah, yes, your mobility sucks. Did you go back to school? How has that been?”

“Yeah, I went back Wednesday. It wasn’t that bad, I just did a lot more sitting than normal. Matsukawa picked me up and the kids were helpful. I didn’t tell them how it happened, though, even though some of them asked.”

Tooru nodded. “What’s teaching like?” He had always respected teachers. He liked kids plenty, but spending that much time around them seemed exhausting.

Iwaizumi paused for a moment, both to swallow his food and think about his answer. “It’s super rewarding. Originally I was just going to go into the field, but some friends convinced me that I should go into education. I’m glad they did. I love the kids, and I love the content, and getting to watch them learn about it and start to like it too is an incredible feeling. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Plus my colleagues are great, too. I’ve already told you about Matsukawa, but they’re all a fun bunch. Oh, but grading can suck my ass.”

“Yeah, that sounds tedious.” One of these days Tooru was going to find one of Iwaizumi’s bad qualities. He had to have at least one, right? Nobody could be this perfect of a person. Maybe he slept with his socks on, or he liked Star Wars more than Star Trek.

His music not being Iwaizumi’s favorite was forgivable, but Star Trek was clearly the superior of the two, and if Iwaizumi didn’t have at least that much taste their friendship was over.

Iwaizumi did get dinner the next time, though. And then the time after that Tooru helped him with housework and offered to cook something himself, and the time after he brought sushi from another high-end place, which Iwaizumi yelled at him for.

Tooru felt a little bad for Hanamaki because he had been eating with Iwaizumi at least once a week for the last four weeks, reducing the amount of leftovers there were to pillage.

One Friday, as he was wrapping up at the studio, Iwaizumi texted him.

<18:03> _Hey, Matsukawa’s bringing Smash Ultimate over today, you wanna come play with us?_

“You haven’t told me about any Matsukawa,” Hanamaki said over Tooru’s shoulder, making Tooru jump in surprise.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that! Also, I haven’t brought up Matsukawa because I don’t know him. He’s Iwa-chan’s teacher friend,” Tooru explained, feathers still ruffled.

“Cool, cool. Y’know, I would be hurt if you agreed to play Smash with them without any form of blackmail. You never play with me willingly,” Hanamaki pouted.

“If I asked if you could come with, would you stop complaining?” Tooru sighed, wondering if it would be rude to bring along a plus one.

“Wait, you’re finally going to let me meet Iwa-Chan? No way.”

“I’m just feeling nice today. Don’t ruin my mood.”

<18:06> _makki read ur message over my shoulder and now he wants to come with, would that be fine??_

<18:07> _I don’t see why not. Let me double check with Matsukawa_  
<18:09> _Yeah, he says that it’s better with more people and he has enough remotes, so sure, bring Makki along._

<18:09> _great!! we’ll be there in half an hour ish, unless u want us to bring snacks?_

<18:10> _It’s fine, I’ve got food covered. See you then._

<18:10> _c u soon!!!! ~(˘▾˘)~_

<18:11> _The fuck is that kaomoji supposed to mean?_

“Alright, Makki. You’ve officially been invited to play Smash. Let’s get going.”

“You got it, boss.”

The car ride there was arduous if only because Hanamaki wouldn’t shut up about how excited he was to meet Iwaizumi, which didn’t bode well for Tooru’s chances of coming out of this with an unscathed reputation. Perhaps inviting Hanamaki along was a bad idea.

When they got to Iwaizumi’s apartment, a tall man that Tooru assumed to be Matsukawa opened the door.

“No way. I really didn’t believe him when he said he was inviting Oikawa Tooru, but here you are. I’m Matsukawa Issei. I have to say, I like your stuff.”

“Well, that’s probably thanks to me. I’m Hanamaki Takahiro, Oikawa’s best friend and music producer,” Hanamaki said, resting his elbow on Tooru’s shoulder.

“Oh, really? So you’re the guy I have to go to to get stories about Oikawa to sell to the tabloids? Sweet. Anyways, come on in.”

They followed Matsukawa to the couch, where Iwaizumi was already sitting. “Hey. Glad you could make it.”

“So you’re Iwa-chan?” Hanamaki said.

“Iwa-chan?” Matsukawa asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, we are not getting started with the fucking ‘Iwa-chan.’ I take it you’re Makki, though?”

“The one and only. Now, I believe it’s high time for me to smash all of your skulls in.”

“Oh, so you think you can beat me, pretty boy?” Matsukawa asked as they all settled down.

“I know I can beat you, hot stuff. I already know that Oikawa mains King Dedede-“

“I like the hammer! And he’s a king! Why do you always give me so much shit about this!”

“-like a bitchass bitch, and I main Villager because their lifeless eyes mimic my own, but who do you main?”

“Wario, obviously,” Matsukawa scoffed. “But nobody will replace Waluigi in my heart.”

“God, if that isn’t a mood. Iwaizumi, what about you?”

“I like Daisy. Peach is a bitch, but Daisy kicks ass.”

“Respectable. Now, are we gonna start or what?”

“Yeah, Mattsun, could you hand me a controller?” Tooru asked, reaching unsuccessfully for one of the ones on the coffee table.

“Wow, the Oikawa Tooru gave me a nickname. I’m honored,” Matsukawa said as he handed Tooru a switch controller.

Knowing that he would be meeting Matsukawa today, while he had been tuning out Hanamaki on the car ride here, he had been formulating the perfect nickname. “Well, any friend of Iwa-chan is a friend of mine, and I-"

“Always give your friends nicknames, we know. Let’s get started already,” Hanamaki whined.

“Anything for you, pretty boy.” Tooru pretended to gag as Matsukawa sent Hanamaki a wink. Who knew how they had established this dynamic so quickly, but Tooru could only guess the severity of the headache it would inevitably cause him. Perhaps Iwaizumi had been right when he had said that the two of them meeting would spell doom for the rest of them.

Tooru’s Smash strategy consisted of button mashing and doing his best to get out of the way of his opponents. Through some stroke of luck, this usually turned out well for him. However, caught between three players who were more skilled than him, he found himself thrown off the stage by Hanamaki and out of lives very soon into the game.

Beside him, Iwaizumi was muttering furiously, with at least half of the words being explicit. He was hunched over on the couch, jabbing the buttons with more force than necessary, and seemingly oblivious to the weird...flirting? Or whatever it was Hanamaki and Matsukawa were doing from across the room.

“C’mon, Iwa-chan, avenge me,” Tooru cheered. Iwaizumi’s growl of frustration only elicited a laugh from the singer.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever played anything with Iwaizumi, but he’s the most competitive guy I know,” Matsukawa said, taking a break from teasing Hanamaki.

“Hm, the only reason Oikawa hasn’t flipped any tables already is because he came into this knowing that we wouldn’t win. If he has even the slightest chance, he’ll fight tooth and nail for victory,” said Hanamaki. 

“But is he a sore loser?” Matsukawa asked as he hurled Iwaizumi out of bounds.

“Fuck you, you bastard! I’m going to dissect your eyes in class!” Iwaizumi shouted.

“Hey, hey, Iwa-chan, let’s do two on two. Us against them,” Tooru said, nudging Iwaizumi’s shoulder repeatedly. Was this the negative trait he had longed to discover? How interesting. “C’mon c’mon c’mon!”

“Fine,” Iwaizumi sighed. “You better not lose this for us, though.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. At least not intentionally,” Tooru said. “It’s not like I’m about to go easy on them.”

“You gotta wait for me to finish off Mattsun first,” Hanamaki grinned.

“Oh, you say that as if I haven’t already smashed you.”

This was venturing into full on foreplay, and Tooru was very close to forcibly shutting the two of them up. In the end, Hanamaki did end up victorious, though not without a victory cry of “take that, hot stuff!”

To his credit, Tooru did a significantly better job this team round than last time. As he died, he managed to take Hanamaki out with him as revenge for last round. Unfortunately, Hanamaki still had one more life.

“I swear, Iwa-chan, you better pull through here.”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t have to do it myself if you hadn’t died already.”

“We can’t all be Kodzuken, Iwa-chan. Don’t judge me for being more talented in other areas.”

“Why did I agree to team up with you? Now stop distracting me, Shittykawa.”

It was not easy being up against both Hanamaki and Matsukawa, but Iwaizumi sure did his best. In this situation, his best was not enough to pull through.

“Take that, Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki grinned.

“Oh, shut it. Your eyes aren’t safe from me, either.”

“So you teach bio, I presume? What do you teach, hot stuff?”

“The world’s best subject, Modern Lit.”

Hanamaki sat back in his seat, pushing his head back with heels of his hands. “Oh, God, fuck me now.”

“You gotta take me out to dinner first.”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“Hey, save it for after Iwa-chan and I beat you in the next round,” Tooru interrupted. Good for Hanamaki for finding somebody new to steal food from, but Tooru needed to cut this off before they actually did begin to fuck now. That was not what he wanted to see on this otherwise pleasant Friday evening.

“Fine. I want your number after this, though.”

“You can have more than that, Matsukawa.”

“What does that even mean?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Whatever he wants it to,” Hanamaki said, starting the next round.

Through a sheer stroke of luck, Iwaizumi managed to carry them through the next round, much to the dismay of the self-proclaimed “Smash extraordinaries.” After a few more fights, they collectively decided to take a break for food.

“So, Iwaizumi never did tell me how he met you, Oikawa,” Matsukawa began, “which is really a crime if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell Mattsun?” Tooru asked Iwaizumi.

“No?”

“Wow, you didn’t tell Matsukawa how you broke your leg?” Hanamaki said.

“Guys, you’re implying that the two situations are related. Also why am I the last person to find out?”

“Yeah, that’s because I met Oikawa when he hit me with his car,” Iwaizumi said. “I didn’t tell you because you either wouldn’t believe me or you would go around telling everybody, which wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.”

“Valid I guess, but I’m still hurt that you wouldn’t tell me this. I thought you were my best friend. Hanamaki, wanna be my new best friend?”

“Can I be your boyfriend, too?”

“Sure. Now Hanamaki’s my best friend and my boyfriend. Sorry, Iwaizumi, you’ve been replaced.”

“Good riddance. Now if only I could get rid of Oikawa, too.”

Tooru gasped. “What have I ever done to you! I am so hurt right now. I have been nothing but a delight to know.”

“Now that’s debatable.”

“Shut the fuck up, Makki. Your opinion is irrelevant.”

“You’re irrelevant. Besides, what about that one time you got everybody in the studio to pretend that I didn’t exist just because I finished your milkbread stash without telling you? Thank goodness Watari doesn’t listen to your bullshit.” So Hanamaki wanted to play that game, huh? He was really doing this?

“That’s just petty. When he was over one time he thought he could do the dance to one of the songs that started playing, but he tripped over the rug and landed on his ass.” Not Iwa-chan, too? When did this become a bash-on-Tooru party? He needed to fight back, and he would have to do it the only way he knew how.

“Rich coming from you, Iwa-chan, or should I say Godzilla-chan,” Tooru said, pulling up the video he had taken when Iwaizumi had come out of surgery for his leg. He hadn’t told Iwaizumi about anything he had said, much less that he had a video of it, and the way Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in horror as he declared himself Godzilla and Tooru Mothra was priceless.

“Aww, it’s so cute that you two have a symbiotic relationship,” Matsukawa teased. “Also, please send that to me.”

“Oikawa, is Iwa-chan the Spock to your Captain Kirk?” Hanamaki grinned.

“This isn’t about me! This is about Iwa-chan! Or, if you really want, we can make it about you? Don’t pretend that you didn’t bawl your eyes out when your Minecraft dog died.” Tooru took a pointed bite of rice while glaring in Hanamaki’s direction.

“Oikawa, do you even know the pain a man goes through when he loses his Minecraft dog? It’s unimaginable. Don’t judge him for it,” Matsukawa said, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Thanks for the support, babe. Also, out of curiosity, do you have Minecraft with you now?”

“You bet your cute ass I do.”

After Matsukawa had broken into Iwaizumi’s alcohol reserve and Hanamaki had had his fill of ruining everything Tooru tried to build while getting inebriated on Matsukawa’s lap, Tooru eventually made the decision for Hanamaki that it was time to take him home. With a last promise that Hanamaki would call Matsukawa, they set off into the night.

“Well, thanks for asking if I could come, Oikawa. Matsukawa is the love of my life. He’s a _literature teacher_ , Oikawa. He could literally not be more perfect.” At this rate, Tooru was going to kick him out of the car if he wouldn’t be quiet. He was glad he hadn’t had anything to drink as a responsible designated driver, otherwise he already would have done just that.

“Yes, I know. You can be quiet now.”

“Aww, somebody’s jealous that they don’t have a boyfriend.”

“I’m not jealous. You can just stop talking about it. Also, how did that even happen? Don’t you have to go on a date before you can say you’re dating?”

“Here’s the thing you have to learn, Tooru. If it works, it works. We work, so nothing else matters,” Hanamaki hiccuped. “Especially not any arbitrary timeline. Romeo and Juliet got married after talking like, three times. And then they died. We’re better than that. We’re going to talk four times and then we’re going to talk again so that we don’t die. Y’know?”

“Whatever you say, Takahiro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes out to all you Matsuhana stans! I love and appreciate you. I think the bonding-over-food thing might have been subconsciously inspired by Manly Man Falls For Manliest Man, which is literally my favorite fic of all time. It and The Next Best American Record both inspired this fic a little. MMFFMM is Kiribaku and TNBAR is Reylo. Both are top-tier.
> 
> Reminder that I take song requests! I'll put it in my metaphorical queue! Especially for Matsuhana since they're not the focus of this fic but they still deserve love and attention!


	3. I THINK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm falling in love  
> This time I think it's for real  
> I think I'm falling in love  
> This time I think it's for real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways here's chapter three! This is one of my favorite songs on the entire playlist, and we got some more characters! Very exciting! Shoutout to Anya for betaing and I'll see y'all at the bottom!
> 
> ~~flapdoodle
> 
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4f8Mh5wuWHOsfXtzjrJB3t?si=q7AxZoe0THyd2EoT9Oqtvg)  
> [Youtube](https://youtu.be/m91Vq-Yd3BA)

Tooru rose from his seat in the waiting area when he saw Iwaizumi walk out, cast free.

“I’ve never seen you without a broken leg! Look at you, walking without crutches!” Tooru said, intercepting Iwaizumi and walking with him towards the door.

“Maybe if you had, I wouldn’t have gotten my leg broken in the first place,” Iwaizumi grumbled.

“Iwa-chan, you should be over that by now. It’s been, like, two months. Anyways, I know exactly where we should go to celebrate!”

“Huh? I thought I only agreed to you driving me here.”

“Yeah, but there was a clause that wasn’t explicitly stated that said that I would take you out to celebrate afterwards, so we’re doing that.”

“Fine. It better not be some over-the-top rich people place that I’m underdressed for, Shittykawa.”

“Don’t worry! I won’t tell you where we’re going until we get there, but it’s not like that. Probably.”

Iwaizumi had said that Fukunaga was out of his budget, but it wasn’t like it was that insane. Even if it was by Iwaizumi’s standards, the entire point of bringing him there was for the agedashi tofu, which Tooru knew he wouldn’t refuse.

It didn’t take long before Tooru was pulling up to the valet. “C’mon, get out.”

“Oikawa, a place with a valet usually isn’t that casual. Where are we?”

“Iwa-chan, it’s literally outside your window. Look.” Tooru shook his head in disappointment. “I can’t believe they’re trusting you to teach our youth.”

“I can’t believe they decided to let the youth look up to you as a role model,” Iwaizumi spat back, looking uncannily like a pouting hedgehog.

Was it bad if Tooru thought that maybe it was a little cute? Probably, so he decided to move along from it very quickly.

“Anyways, I used my charm and good looks to get us a table, so let’s head on in,” Tooru said, waiting for Iwaizumi to follow his lead.

The first thing you noticed when you walked into Fukunaga was the smell of food, warm, meaty, and flavorful. The second thing you noticed was how bright it was, to the point where the presence of shadows seemed out of place. The third thing was who the patrons were; as Tooru and Iwaizumi walked to their table, Tooru could already pick out an actor, two other singers, and a supermodel. He didn’t know what exactly had attracted so many celebrities to this relatively quaint restaurant, but somehow it had turned into a hub of the rich and famous. To be fair, it must have been whatever had brought Tooru here time and time again, as well.

“This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Iwaizumi said after they had taken their seats. “Like, I was expecting the Ritz but this is more like a scaled up version of the place Matsukawa and I go to sometimes after school.”

“I told you that there wasn’t anything to worry about, right? You can trust that I’m not going to lie to you.”

“I guess. What else is good besides their agedashi tofu?”

Tooru took that as a cue to describe his top five favorite dishes in detail, which only became more gratuitous the more Iwaizumi expressed his annoyance. His speech was cut off when the waiter came to take their orders, much to Tooru’s dismay.

“Thank God that’s over,” Iwaizumi sighed as the waiter walked away.

“Iwa-chan! Don’t say that! You should be incredibly grateful that I deemed you worthy enough to give you my review of the menu. It’s truly an honor.”

“Great, and it’s an honor I don’t want to have. I mean, you do know that you can just point me to a couple dishes without breaking down their flavor profiles, right?”

“But then how would you know what you’re really getting into?”

“That’s actually a valid point. For example, if you had given me an in depth analysis of your personality, I would’ve never let you into my apartment a second time,” Iwaizumi said, trying to hide his grin by taking a sip of water.

“Fine, fine, I see how it is. Wait, what time is it?” Tooru asked, eyes landing on the stage to the side of the room.

“It’s, like, almost five-thirty. Why? Did you forget that you have some important obligation that you need to ditch me for or something?”

“C’mon, Iwa-chan, cut me some slack. When have I ever done that before? Besides, I don’t forget big things. I did forget that tonight was stand-up night, though. It starts at seven and we’ll probably be done before then, which sucks because Fukkun is hilarious,” said Tooru, sitting back in his chair. Fukunaga better not know he was here on stand-up night but didn’t stay for the stand-up; Tooru would probably lose his discount.

“Fukunaga does stand up comedy?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Yeah, he told me that if he wasn’t successful with the restaurant he would just be a broke comedian, even though I’m pretty sure he could make a killing on comedy, too. Good for us that he’s great at both. He does host a lot of other comedians here, too,” Tooru explained, “but Fukunaga’s just always the crowd favorite.”

“Sounds interesting. I’m sure we could eat slowly enough to last until then, if you want.”

Tooru burst out laughing, startling Iwaizumi and some of the other patrons around them. “You? Eat slowly? Is that even possible?”

“Fuck off,” Iwaizumi grumbled. “I’ve just been trained to eat fast because otherwise I won’t have enough time to eat my lunch before I’m called to wrangle kids or Matsukawa comes and distracts me. I can eat slowly if I need to, though.”

“If you say so.” Tooru’s grin was very much a challenge. Not only was it fun, it was incredibly easy to antagonize Iwaizumi. Though Iwaizumi did have thick skin, Tooru was able to find all of the ways to get underneath it.

To be fair, Iwaizumi did take the challenge very seriously; Tooru could actually see him take individual bites. However, Tooru failed the Avoid Fukunaga challenge the moment he heard the “Hey, Oikawa-san!” come from behind him.

“Fukkun! How are you!” Tooru grinned. There were still around forty five minutes until he was slated to go on, and at this rate they might just barely squeak it out.

“Good. I hope you’re doing fine as well?” Fukunaga was already dressed for the routine, with a crisp blazer and slacks and his hair flattened down a bit.

“Yup, your food’s delicious as always. Iwa-chan is a big fan of your agedashi tofu. Under normal circumstances, he probably would have finished it by now,” Tooru said.

“Iwa-chan?” Fukunaga said, eyeing Iwaizumi curiously.

“Iwaizumi Hajime. I’m a friend of Oikawa’s. It’s nice to meet you, you’ve got a nice place.” Why couldn’t Iwaizumi be this polite and civil normally? When he wasn’t threatening Tooru, he was the epitome of a gentleman.

For some reason, that got him thinking of Iwaizumi in a suit, and for some reason that got Tooru incredibly flustered.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. Actually, speaking of friends, there was somebody here I wanted you to meet, Oikawa-san. You’re still looking for a new manager, right?”

Indeed Tooru was. The search had been incredibly long and arduous, and with the expiration of his current contract rapidly approaching he had few leads. The problem with getting rid of an otherwise good manager was that the standards were high looking for a new one.

“Yes, actually. Do you have a recommendation?”

“If Iwaizumi-san doesn’t mind me stealing you away for a bit, I can introduce you real quick,” Fukunaga offered, looking towards Iwaizumi for approval.

“Go for it. You might not have another chance, and then you’ll be complaining to me about not having a manager.”

That was all of the consent Tooru needed. Sliding his chair back from the table, he said, “OK, then, lead the way, Fukkun.”

Fukunaga brought them towards one of the back tables, mostly blocked from view by plants and a screen. Sitting at it was a man relaxing after a day of work, if the suit coat on the back of his chair was any indicator. His hair was a disaster, though, and Tooru would have already been suspicious of this man’s quality as a manager if he wasn’t desperate.

“Oikawa-san, this is Kuroo-san,” Fukunaga introduced. By the time this Kuroo person had stood up and shaken Tooru’s hand, Fukunaga had already disappeared to who knew where.

“So you’re the great Oikawa Tooru, huh? I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. Nice to meet you. I hear you’re in the business for a new manager?”

“You’ve heard right,” Tooru said, taking Kuroo’s cue to sit down. “I don’t recognize you, though. Who’ve you worked with before?”

“Most notably, Akaashi Keiji and Sugawara Koushi. I’m assuming you know them?”

Tooru did know them. Sugawara was one of his good friends, and he had met Akaashi a few times in passing. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember who had been their managers before Sugawara had been with Takeda and Akaashi with Shirofuku. “Yeah, and why aren’t you their manager anymore?”

“To summarize a long story, I signed with Suga as a favor to help him boost his career, so after he was satisfiably renowned he was able to pull a manager who matched his new needs. With Akaashi, it’s a similar situation. I took him on after his first manager retired, but he also found somebody who was better suited to his needs.”

“What does that mean, ‘better suited to their needs?’ You’re not making yourself sound very capable.” Tooru needed dedication, competency, and a lack of homophobia. Splitting from your clients after they found somebody better was not the kind of manager he was looking for.

“Well, for the last God knows how many years, I’ve been simultaneously managing Kodzuken, which didn’t allow myself enough time to properly dedicate myself to them, per se. However, he recently insisted that he finally get an ‘actual manager,’ whatever that means,” Kuroo said, doing air quotes, “which leaves me with plenty of time to dedicate to somebody like you. I’ve heard that Mizoguchi-san is a perfectly capable manager, though. Why’re you splitting from him?”

“To summarize a long story,” Tooru said, lowering his voice while carefully watching Kuroo, “he won’t let me come out publicly.”

“Oh, cool. Yeah, that won’t be a problem here, seeing as I’m actually dating Kodzuken and I handled the whole I-have-a-boyfriend situation. Most people don’t know it’s me, though,” Kuroo said, leaning back in his seat. “I think the reason he wants me to drop off most of my responsibilities in regards to managing him is because he thinks there’s some sort of conflict of interest. If anything it just encourages me to do better, but it’s fine. At the end of the day, he’s still the love of my life.”

Well, that was a pleasant surprise. Tooru might not have been sold on Kuroo’s actual managing abilities, but this was certainly a big point in his favor. “Oh, that’s cute. That’s good news, too. If, in theory, you started to manage me, that would be one of the first things I’d want to do. I’ve also delayed scheduling a tour for my most recent album until the switch, so you’d also have to deal with that pretty soon, too.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with that. I like to plan out everything beforehand so that everybody knows what’s going on and there’s nothing that could come up and cause problems, aside from the weather or something.”

“Huh. That’s good. But, in all honesty, I should probably get back to my friend. It was certainly nice meeting you, though. How should I contact you?”

Kuroo pulled a business card out from his pocket and slid it across the table with a grin. “That’s my email and my business and personal cells. I hope we get to talk again soon. Enjoy the rest of your night. Hopefully you’ll get to see Fukunaga’s stand up. He told me he’s got one of his best routines tonight.”

“Ah, I intend on it. I’ll probably call you to schedule another time to talk. Until next time,” Tooru said, getting up with a smile and a wave.

“See ya.”

As Tooru approached the table, he saw Iwaizumi scrolling through something on his phone with empty dishes in front of him and Tooru’s rapidly cooling food across from him.

“Iwa-chan!” he called, drawing Iwaizumi’s attention up. For some reason, as long as Iwaizumi’s eyes weren’t digging through his soul to find personality traits to expose, Tooru actually relished in the way Iwaizumi looked at him. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but maybe that was it: Iwaizumi saw him as a regular friend and not as one of Japan’s top artists. Or maybe Tooru just liked being in the center of attention, which was also true. “Did’ja miss me?”

“No,” Iwaizumi said, putting his phone away. “How did it go?”

“Pretty well, I’d say. He definitely has promise. I have to talk to him more, and also to Suga-chan probably, but as of right now he’s probably the closest thing I have to a top contender.”

“Cool. Hopefully it works out. I think that Fukunaga’s starting soon, so I’d say we’ve timed it well enough to watch his act.”

“Oh, great! I can order drinks, too, if you want?”

“I thought you were a responsible designated driver,” Iwaizumi said, quirking an eyebrow.

“If I only have one, I’ll be fine. I promise,” Tooru reassured as he waved the waiter over. It was a special occasion, so he would loosen his personal restrictions ever so slightly just for today.

“If you say so.”

The waiter came back just before the act was supposed to start. With a thank you, Tooru and Iwaizumi each took a glass.

“Kanpai!”

As Tooru went to put his glass to his mouth, he made the mistake of lingering on Iwaizumi’s jawline as he tipped his head back. Tooru’s mouth immediately went dry, and to cover it up he made the second mistake of trying to down the contents of his cup too fast, causing him to sputter.

“You good?” Iwaizumi asked, peering at him with those _damn eyes._

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tooru was absolutely _not fine._ What the _fuck!_ This was _not happening!_

Maybe he wasn’t quite as over it as he thought.

\----------

“Makki, what if I’m not as over it as I thought?” Tooru spoke as calmly as he possibly could into his phone. The entire car ride back from Fukunaga, Tooru had subtly done deep breathing exercises to keep himself from imploding while he was that close to Iwaizumi. It hadn’t ever been a problem before, but it certainly was now.

 _“Oh, are you talking about your megacrush on Iwaizumi? Yeah, I was wondering when you’d figure that out. Nine times out of ten you’re talking about how great your Iwa-chan is, and it’s actually kinda annoying at this point.”_ The way that Hanamaki was able to say that so casually increased Tooru’s urge to scream tenfold.

“What the fuck do you mean, my megacrush on Iwa-chan!” Tooru collapsed onto his couch, running his free hand through his hair.

_“I should really give you credit for suppressing it for this long. It’s impressive how oblivious you apparently are. Well, you’ve already acknowledged that you find Iwaizumi attractive, right? And think about it. I’m pretty sure that you’ve told me more than once that Iwaizumi is ‘literally perfect.’”_

“That doesn’t mean I have to, like, like him, though!”

_“First of all, I don’t find Iwaizumi perfect. Yeah, he’s awesome, but perfect is a term I would reserve for Mattsun. Speaking of which, he’s actually calling me right now, so I’d recommend that you sit there and think about your feelings until I call you back tomorrow. Bye!”_

“Makki, don’t you dare-” Tooru started, before realizing that Hanamaki had already switched calls, if it wasn’t just an excuse and Matsukawa actually was calling him.

Well, now he just needed to sit here and stew, apparently. Too bad emotions were for losers and he would rather do anything else than figure out if he really did have some sort of crush on Iwaizumi. With a sigh, he got back off of the couch and headed to the basement.

Tooru’s basement was his music sanctuary. It contained most of his instruments, an in-home recording studio, a vast collection of music and various means of listening to it, and his current destination, his songwriting space: a table and couch right smack dab in the middle of it all.

Grabbing a guitar and checking that all of his notebooks and writing utensils were there for when he needed them, Tooru decided that it was time to start something new. A clean bar staff in front of him, he started to play around with some different chords as he tried to figure out what he wanted this song to sound like.

Iwaizumi’s advice to include more passion wouldn’t get itself out of Tooru’s head. Well, fine. He would make this song so emotionally charged and soul-baring that people would cry whenever they heard it. The melody would be smooth, but still able to be an appropriate vessel for the lyrics. He let the stings lead as he played different chords, trying to find a sound he liked. Eventually, he found something that seemed to stick. It would inevitably go through many different alterations, but for now he had the beginnings of a potential ostinato for his song. He made a note of the chords.

Oh, who was he kidding. He was too preoccupied with trying not to think about Iwaizumi to make this a passion project. He just needed to figure this out, which was horrendous. Imagine feeling! The tables seemed to have turned on him, though, as it seemed that he might be the loser with emotions.

What were those emotions, anyways? In regards to Iwaizumi, they were overwhelmingly positive. He was really nice whenever he wasn’t bullying Tooru, and also funny in a super subtle way, and he cared a lot, but he was also super serious sometimes and you knew when he was because his eyebrows would furrow in that really cute way that Tooru had noticed when they first met.

The difference between that time and this sudden revelation was that he now had a whole slew of reasons to justify a crush, meaning that now that he had realized that maybe this time it was for real, it wouldn’t be as easy to suppress.

Well, Tooru was officially fucked! He was romantically interested in somebody who probably wasn’t interested in him back, since Iwaizumi had never implied anything other than being straight. And even if he wasn’t, why would he even like Tooru? Iwaizumi had implied nothing other than just simply being able to tolerate Tooru, or occasionally finding joy whenever Tooru messed up.

For the record, that wasn’t often, but falling for Iwaizumi was certainly a mistake that would lead to nothing but pain. How the fuck was he supposed to re-get over it? As he continued to sit and think about all of the things that made Iwaizumi _Iwaizumi_ (the arms Tooru wanted to suffocate in, the way his nose crinkled when he laughed, the utter adoration that filled his voice whenever he talked about his students, the list when on), the deeper he realized he was. It was a hole he was almost glad to be digging until he realized that he couldn’t see the sun anymore and he had no way to get out. Hanamaki and Matsukawa would just stand at the top looking down at him while making fun of the predicament he had gotten himself into, without giving any sort of useful advice, or, you know, a ladder.

Perhaps the metaphor was escaping him. Either way, it was useless to try to call Hanamaki again, and obviously he couldn’t talk to Iwaizumi himself about it, so who did that leave him with to vent to? His sister would just tell him to suck it up and confess, which wasn’t what he needed, and Watari was constantly busy, and even if he did have some down time he wouldn’t want to use it listening to Tooru lament about the follies of love.

The list of people he was out to was already short, and at this rate he would just have to suck it up and deal with it, which he would only be able to do after he let it all out. Who else knew? There was Kuroo, but they had literally met today. Oh, but there was Sugawara! How had Tooru not remembered him until now? He was born for situations like this.

Sugawara picked up on the first ring. _“Tooru! It’s been a while! What’s up?”_

“Nothing much. I did want to talk to you about something, though, so you’re not busy, right?”

 _“Nope,”_ Sugawara said. _“Is it enough to warrant me coming over? I can if you want me to right now.”_

“Sure, why not. It might be easier. See you in, like, an hour?”

 _“Sounds good! See you then,”_ Sugawara said, hanging up.

With a sigh, Tooru let his phone fall onto the couch. He should probably put all of this stuff away since he obviously wasn’t getting anywhere with it today.

He wasn’t sure where the hour went, but suddenly there was a knock on the door and Sugawara was there, smiling. “I really hope that whatever it is you wanna talk about was worth me coming over at an hour this late, Tooru.”

“You’re the one who suggested coming over first, Suga-chan. I just agreed,” Tooru said, closing the door behind Sugawara. “Let’s go sit and we can talk.”

After settling down, Tooru felt incredibly awkward just laying all of these new feelings on Sugawara right off of the bat, so he figured he should probably start off with another important, but significantly less overwhelming, topic. “First things first. You know I’m still looking for a new manager, right? Well, I was at Fukunaga earlier today and Fukunaga introduced me to Kuroo Tetsurou. He said that he managed you at one point? What’s he like?”

“Kuroo! Oh, yeah, he’s great. Knows exactly what’s going on, really good at making connections. The only reason we let our contract expire was because Kodzuken was really starting to take off and that was always his first priority, which was fine since he still did a great job for me. And I guess he has this weird rivalry with Daichi, but that never got in the way of anything. I think that you two would get along really well, actually. If he’s back in the music industry, you should absolutely try and nag him,” Sugawara said. Well, that was one worry assuaged. If Sugawara could vouch for him with such confidence, he must be quite impressive. “I’m assuming you haven’t talked to him much yet, so I won’t influence your opinion any more than I just did. What’s the second thing?”

“Oh, the second thing,” Tooru sighed. How should he say this? There was no good way to start this conversation. “Coincidentally, I was at Fukunaga today with Iwa-chan. I told you about him, right?”

“Iwaizumi Hajime, the one you hit with a car, the one I tried to stalk online, but all of his accounts were private and it would be very suspicious if I sent him follow requests so you didn’t let me do it?”

“The one and only.” Tooru tried to steel his will, but with Sugawara staring at him inquisitively he was beginning to crumble.

“What about him?”

“I just… I don’t know. I think I might be starting to fall in love with him.” Tooru buried his head in his hands, for some reason mortified. It did not stop Sugawara from hearing what he said, which was only good because Tooru wouldn’t have to say it again.

“Oh. Wow. I guess that makes sense, though. You like to talk about him a lot.”

“Why does everybody immediately equate that to me having a crush! I talk about a lot of people a lot! I don’t like Ushiwaka just because I like to complain about him,” Tooru groaned.

“I guess it’s just the way you talk about him, y’know? Of the last three times we’ve seen each other, you’ve brought up Iwaizumi twice, and when you did your demeanor completely shifted. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that before, to be honest. Even if you didn’t realize it until recently, you’ve definitely been feeling something for a while,” Sugawara nodded, seeming like he was some sage wise on the matters of the heart. To be fair, he was, and at least he wasn’t trying to hit Tooru yet.

“So what do I do about it? I don’t even know if he likes men.”

“Tooru, you need to stop living in a straight-until-proven-otherwise world. If he does confirm for you that he is one hundred percent straight, then you just need to eliminate the part of your brain that makes you like people. Until then, you just gotta go after him. Woo him, seduce him, you know. The works. It worked with Daichi,” Sugawara shrugged.

“Suga-chan, you literally just told him one of your weird sex fantasies while you were drunk off of you ass, and when you sobered up you told him that you hadn’t been lying. How is that wooing?”

“You’re neglecting everything before then, my young apprentice. I deduced what his top two love languages were and went all out in those two areas, and I flirted relentlessly, for _two whole years._ I’m hoping that it doesn’t take you that long, but it worked, because after I told him that I hadn’t been lying I asked him out, and now we live out my weird sex fantasies.”

“Koushi, I do not need to know anything else about your sex life. Please refrain from sharing in the future.”

“Your loss. Anyways, you’re missing the big picture. You just have to be so incredible and amazing to him that he has no choice but to be head over heels for you if he’s not straight, and once you know you’re at that point you just gotta ask him out. It’s foolproof. You just need to be dedicated enough to see it through, and I know you’re more than able to do that.”

“Is it really that easy?” Tooru didn’t know if he liked how formulaic it seemed. Love didn’t really work like that, did it? Oh, God, what if he came off like a really invested friend and Iwaizumi just got weirded out instead of reciprocating Tooru’s feelings?

Sugawara laughed, which didn’t make Tooru feel any better. “It’s not easy, it’s just simple. If you want him, you just have to go after him relentlessly. I don’t believe in being too pushy.”

“Yeah, I know you don’t, but I do. Hopefully Iwa-chan doesn’t decide to break off our friendship because I was following your advice.”

“Oikawa Tooru. When have I ever given you bad advice?” Sugawara tutted, mocking offense while grabbing one of Tooru’s many blankets.

“Once you told me that I could avoid Ushiwaka by camping out in the bathroom, but he just ended up giving me advice for living with IBS.”

“Anyways, wanna watch Alien versus Predator or 10 Things I Hate About You?” Sugawara said, grabbing the remote and turning on the television.

“Another time you told me that I should-”

“Alien is gonna be heads and 10 Things will be tails. Hey Siri, flip a coin.”

Begrudgingly, Tooru shifted to the spot he had been offered under Sugawara’s blanket and settled in to cheer on Kat as she fell for Patrick without sacrificing her feminist ideals.

\----------

This time, it was Sugawara’s advice that was swirling around in Tooru’s head as he sat back down with his staff from the day before. How serious was he about this? How much was he willing to commit?

How deep really was he?

In all honesty, at this point he wasn’t sure. To be in a relationship with Iwaizumi, which he did want, would prove to the world that he was indeed gay, and maybe Mizoguchi was right. Maybe people really wouldn’t be as accepting as he hoped. Maybe he would be sacrificing his whole life to be with one person who he wasn’t sure he really wanted that badly.

Playing his melody, he summed up his thoughts in lyrics.

“ _I don’t wanna fall from the stars, just to be in your arms._ ”

It was something. He wasn’t sure if it felt right, though. It didn’t really fit the rhythm, but that was because it was barely more than improvisation. With a little bit of tweaking, it had potential. He wrote it down in his separate lyric notebook and tried to ignore the weird feeling of betrayal that had started to eat at him. After all, if he was about to try and get Iwaizumi to fall in love with him, wasn’t it counterintuitive to draw a line that he didn’t want to cross?

See, this is why he avoided feelings at all costs; they were so messy and contradictory. He was sure that right now, he wouldn’t want to give up his career just to date Iwaizumi, but if that wasn’t a requirement he would definitely do anything else within his power to get to that point. That seemed reasonable. He could follow that guideline. Besides, if Iwaizumi was straight, that level of dedication would just increase the height from which his heart was dropped.

Feeling better, or at least ready to continue songwriting, Tooru began to consider whether or not he actually wanted to make this guitar part an ostinato or change it for the chorus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not about to write an actual song from scratch, so the song Oikawa starts writing in this chapter is Stars by Simply Red with the lyrics altered ever so slightly. This won't be the last time you see it, but we're finally starting to put the musician in musician au ;)
> 
> Remember!! Go commission me or somebody else!! It'll be super cool!!


	4. Wonderwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many things that I  
> Would like to say to you but I don't know how  
> Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me  
> And after all, you're my wonderwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for this chapter, it's kinda heavy at the beginning, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually warrant a trigger warning? However I also don't know anything, so tell me if it actually does. There's still a lot of fluff to make up for it, though, don't worry! It is kinda short (whoops), but the next few chapters will make up for it.
> 
> Shoutout to Anya for beta-ing! Anyways, here's Wonderwall.
> 
> ~~flapdoodle, who wanted to make this joke for so long please I beg you appreciate my dead memes
> 
> [Youtube](https://youtu.be/bx1Bh8ZvH84)  
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1qPbGZqppFwLwcBC1JQ6Vr?si=vboUBiEQQ9qrmRIdbhCkxw)

“Would you like to do the honors?” Kuroo asked, sliding the computer over to Tooru.

The sight of it sent the emotions that had almost settled to the back of his mind swirling again. All of his former confidence had been swept away. “Heavens, no. You do it. It’ll be your first act as my manager or something, I don’t know.”

“You’re both too slow,” Watari sighed, pulling the computer away from both of them and pressing send tweet.

And so the culmination of the last two weeks of contract negotiations, planning, and the last five hours stuck in this stupid conference room was Watari pressing a button.

The room started to spin as Tooru stood up. He needed to take a nap. “I’m gonna get out of here. I’m trusting you guys to handle any problems that come up. See you tomorrow.”

Kuroo was very perceptive. Even though he had known Tooru for a fraction of the time that Watari had, they wore near identical masks of concern. The only difference was that Watari knew to give Tooru space, but Kuroo didn’t.

“Hey, Oika’a. You good? Want me to drive you home or something?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer, though, Kuro-chan.” Forcing a smile, Tooru left the room before it swallowed him forever.

He was really, truly, grateful that Kuroo was his manager now. The only problem with rushing the process was that they didn’t really know each other well yet. That would change with time, of course, but right now he wanted to seek comfort in familiarity.

His phone was already being flooded with notifications, on the verge of combusting. He shut it off.

When he got home, he plugged it in and went upstairs with the intention of changing into comfy clothes and going to bed. Too bad his overactive brain prevented him from doing anything more than staring at the ceiling and drowning in his own mind.

It felt like he was choking. His gut clenched to try and keep all of the bad feelings locked up there, but they still managed to escape and leak into his bloodstream. He was coursing with poison. 

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._

_What did I just do?_

His eyes felt like they were burning. Better than crying, at least, especially because there wasn’t anything to cry over. Why was he so worked up over the public’s reaction to something he was already comfortable with? He shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t care. It would all turn out fine in the end. He knew it would. He was positive.

But what if it _didn’t?_ What would he do then?

He needed to get all of this anxious energy out. Wrapping himself up in a blanket from his bed, he started to aimlessly pad through his house.

It was like he was cursed. He still wound up staring at the dark screen of his phone. He really didn’t need this. He really didn’t need to do this to himself.

He turned it on anyways.

The first thing he saw, before any of the twitter notifications or news articles or blog posts, were all of the missed texts and calls from his friends.

The human mind was an incredible piece of machinery. The speed with which fire could turn to water was astounding. One moment, Tooru was ablaze, and the next, he was crumpled on the floor, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

_Fuck._

People cared about him, didn’t they? People that mattered? It was almost comical in some way, even though Tooru wasn’t entirely sure how. He would laugh if he weren’t choking on his tears.

He grabbed his phone from the counter and sat with his back against the cabinets, scrolling through the missed texts while he struggled to regain composure. One name in particular caught his eye, as it always seemed to do, recently.

<16:26> _I saw your twitter post. Are you doing ok?_  
<16:38> _Oikawa?_  
<16:43> _Feel free to talk to me if you want_

He typed out a response to Iwaizumi.

<16:49> _pls come over. Here’s my address._

If anybody could tell Tooru what he needed to hear, it was him.

“You look like shit,” Iwaizumi remarked as Tooru opened the door, an undefinable amount of time later. “Come here.”

Tooru didn’t have a chance to react before Iwaizumi pulled him into a hug. He immediately melted into it, not hesitating to put his own arms around Iwaizumi and allow himself to enjoy the feeling.

It felt so natural. It felt so secure. It felt like Iwaizumi would be able to protect him from anything, like some sort of divine shield. He still felt oh so tired and oh so drained, but at least now he had somebody to help him to his feet.

Tooru didn’t know how long they stood like that, with Tooru’s face buried in Iwaizumi’s shoulder and Iwaizumi holding him tight.

“Why don’t we go inside?” Iwaizumi asked.

Ruefully, Tooru pulled out of Iwaizumi’s arms and led the way in.

Tooru wasn’t sure why he had never invited Iwaizumi over before. He supposed that it was because they had accidentally made hanging out at Iwaizumi’s place a habit, but either way, he was here now.

“Hey, why don’t we go to the basement? I can show you where I do a lot of my songwriting.”

He was just barely not crying again, so the best way to get back to more solid ground was to combine his favorite person with one of his favorite spaces. Tooru watched as Iwaizumi’s face changed, eyes widening and mouth parting, as they stepped into the space. The floodwaters were beginning to recede, it seemed; while the negative feelings certainly weren’t gone, Iwaizumi’s awe was something to feel positive about.

“You really live like this? Wow. This is actually really cool, Oikawa.”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan. Do you know how to play any instruments?”

“Actually, I picked up the guitar in high school. Would you mind…?”

“Go for it. My favorite is the teal one over there. You might like it, too.”

Tooru took a seat on the couch and watched as Iwaizumi took the guitar down from its mount. Iwaizumi’s handle on the guitar was uncharacteristically gentle.

He was probably worried about breaking it. God, he was adorable.

After settling down on the opposite side of the couch as Tooru, Iwaizumi began to pluck a simple chord progression.

“Wonderwall? Really, Iwa-chan? I expected more, honestly.”

“Shut up. I gotta get a feel for it, ya know? Here, let me try this.”

Iwaizumi began to play a song Tooru couldn’t recognize, but that was the furthest thought from Tooru’s mind. As Iwaizumi’s fingers traipsed across the strings, he took on an indescribable air that left Tooru speechless. It wasn’t the same captivation that he had whenever he was watching a particularly good performer, but instead it was like his entire worldview was being shifted because of a sudden new epiphany. It was clear that the song wasn’t meant to be played on an acoustic guitar, but that didn’t stop Iwaizumi from imbuing the same raw edge to it. Heat, warm and comfortable, started to pulse from Tooru’s core, a stark contrast to the way his skin had seared earlier.

As Iwaizumi transitioned into the solo riff, Tooru thought he was being led down a blinding path to salvation. Perhaps that monumental shift he had undergone was him tipping over the event horizon of a black hole, unable to escape from the depths of Iwaizumi and being torn apart in the process. Tooru watched himself as he was sucked in, helpless to do anything, and resigned to his fate.

Because there was no way that Iwaizumi, this Iwaizumi, so careful and carefree, could ever be his.

“I bet you got all of the girls with skills like that, huh?” If Iwaizumi noticed Tooru’s flush or the way he had struggled to form words, he didn’t comment on it. It needed to be said, though. He needed to remind himself that this whole thing was hopeless. At this rate he was going to make himself cry again, and that wouldn’t do. His eyes were already puffy enough.

“Well, I actually did start to learn it to impress people in high school. Guys, too.” Iwaizumi was suddenly very interested in the pickguard. “If you could come out to the world, I can come out to you, right? I’m demisexual biromantic.”

Tooru was so, so close to losing his shit. Did this mean he actually had a chance?

“Oh, really? Thanks for telling me.” How he had managed to form a coherent string of words was beyond him. He needed to change the topic fast. “By the way, what song was that?”

“Oh, Heartbreaker by Led Zeppelin. Typically I like to learn songs that are really important to me. I learned this one after my first and only big breakup, when it was my comfort song. It still kinda is.”

Tooru really wanted to press for details. He also really wanted to respect Iwaizumi’s boundaries. Unfortunately, Iwaizumi always seemed to decimate Tooru’s self control. “When did you break up?”

“Uh, almost two years ago, I think? We dated for five. That relationship was what helped me realize I was demi as opposed to just ace, actually. It didn’t work out in the end because she didn’t want to put as much effort into it as I did.”

Tooru couldn’t prevent his mind from immediately jumping to what this might mean. If Iwaizumi’s only significant relationship so far was with a woman, would he be nervous about dating Tooru? That would be ridiculous, though.

Overpowering even that, though, was the conviction that he would not do that. He would pour everything he had and then some into the man sitting just on the other side of the couch. He would be better. He would be the best.

That wasn’t abiding by the promise he had made to himself, though, was it? This was going to get him hurt, wasn’t it? Well, fuck it.

He knew what he had to do now. And by the aliens, was he going to do it. Whatever Iwaizumi’s former partner might have felt was shit compared to what Tooru was feeling now. Nobody could match the void in Tooru’s soul that Iwaizumi’s presence had created and that only Iwaizumi could fill.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He was, honestly. Iwaizumi deserved the world, and it was a crime if he didn’t get it.

“It’s fine, it’s all in the past now.”

“Hm. Can I tell you something?” Tooru asked.

“Yeah, shoot.”

“I-” I- _what?_ How was it possible to give Iwaizumi a hint of his feelings without spewing forth his entire being? The entire depth of emotion he was feeling, including the still-raw traces of panic and fear and the realization that it might actually be fine and the boundless and utter adoration he felt for the man sitting just there, on the other side of the couch, close enough to touch, if only he had the courage to reach out? “I’m really thankful you came over. I don’t know why I was so scared, since there wasn’t any reason to be. But I was, and you helped. So thank you, Iwa-chan. You saved me from myself.”

“It’s not really a big deal. You’re welcome, though. I’ll be here whenever you need me. Have you actually seen any of the responses yet?”

“No, I haven’t. Did you look at them?”

“I didn’t. Do you want to? I’ll be here for moral support,” Iwaizumi offered.

He really shouldn’t. This could be very bad. But Iwaizumi was here with him, so how could anything go wrong?

In silent apprehension, Tooru grabbed his phone, eyes flicking towards Iwaizumi. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he admitted.

“Didn’t you already say that there’s no reason to be scared? Do I need to hold your hand?”

“Yes.” Tooru didn’t wait for Iwaizumi to tell him if it was a joke or not before he was scooting over and grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand.

Iwaizumi didn’t complain, just gave Tooru’s hand an encouraging squeeze.

Well, Tooru appreciated the support, however he had just given himself another reason to combust. Fighting to control the blush that was threatening to spread over his face while also willing himself to open the app wasn’t exactly the easiest feat. At least Iwaizumi’s firm, calloused grip managed to anchor him down, preventing him from getting swept away in the tidal wave of anxiety that never seemed to leave him alone.

Scrolling through the replies and mentions was like an out of body experience. The overwhelming wave of support was more than Tooru had allowed himself to hope for. Of course, there was the occasional asshole, but they were fewer and farther between than he had anticipated.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru started, as his vision began to cloud over and his breath failed to come out even, “I think I’m free.”

“Yeah. They love you a lot, don’t they. Oh, fuck, are you crying again?” Iwaizumi was clearly at a loss of how to comfort Tooru. Panicking, he settled for pulling Tooru into another embrace.

It was more than enough.

\----------

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were doing it. Am I not your best friend? Your closest pal? Your platonic soulmate?” Sugawara demanded.

“You’re selling yourself too much. I’m his best friend, so he should have at least told me,” Hanamaki tutted.

Tooru had expected that he would get chewed out by the two of them, but he hadn’t expected that they would work together to double team him. And in his own kitchen, no less. “Guys, does it even matter? The only people I expressly told were Kuro-chan and Watachi because they helped me with it, and it’s not like you found out through Twitter, so is it really such a big deal?”

“Yes! It is such a big deal! You’ve wanted to do this for ages, and when you do you don’t even tell us? It’s like if you didn’t tell us you were about to propose or something. Are you sure you don’t have any other big news for us?” Sugawara said, taking a condescending sip of his tea.

“Hm. Well, Iwa-chan told me that he’s biromantic, so I might try to ask him out soon? I mean, as soon as I get a sense of whether or not he likes me too or not. Or use Suga-chan’s strategy of trying to ‘woo’ him or whatever.”

Sugawara immediately spewed his tea in Tooru’s face as Hanamaki screamed “ _fuck yeah!_ ”

Tooru sighed and grabbed a napkin to wipe himself off with. He hadn’t expected his friends to have such a pronounced reaction.

Hanamaki had quickly shifted gears, though. “Tooru, I’m gonna be completely serious with you. You deserve a lot, and I hope that this works out because Iwaizumi is awesome and you two would be so good together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happier than you are with Iwaizumi. Just make sure that you’re not thinking of only yourself and your feelings in this situation. He has his own outlook on everything, and as much as I think you should go after him with everything you’ve got, you have to be OK if he doesn’t want this, for whatever reason. I mean, you’re a steal, and I don’t see why he wouldn’t, but just be careful, OK?” Hanamaki said.

“Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The last thing I’d want is to hurt him. I care about him too much to do that,” Tooru affirmed.

Would he even be able to live with himself if he hurt Iwaizumi? The mere idea of it made him sick. His own desires somehow ending up in regret on either of their parts made the enormity of them terrifying; he was standing on an enormous precipice, and the drop below would surely end in death if he went over the edge. He prayed that he wouldn’t fall, at least any harder than he already had.

Tooru was a lot more fragile than he wanted to be. Sure, he was able to take a lot, but laying broken and battered on the cold pavement was not where he wanted this to go, and it was the way it surely would if he held back even a little bit, he was sure of it. If the entire reason that Iwaizumi’s last relationship had ended was because his effort hadn’t been reciprocated, then he needed to put everything on the line for this.

It had been proven that his career wasn’t in danger, but he would no longer hesitate to jeopardize it. It could recover. The hole that Iwaizumi would leave after carving it out over an embarrassingly short amount of time wouldn’t. Tooru just needed him there, be it as a friend or lover, and losing him wasn’t an option.

“Earth to Tooru. You good in there?” Sugawara said, peering at him with a concerned look on his face.

“I’m fine. Just thinking. Anyways, Makki, how’s Mattsun?” He just needed to stop reevaluating his thoughts and feelings every five minutes, was that too much to ask? The best way to do that was clearly by changing the subject and avoiding the topic entirely.

“Oh, Mattsun! Actually, Suga, do you know about him? We met through Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He’s the love of my life, he lights up my world, he truly brings sexy back. Justin Timberlake has nothing on him. I could kiss him forever. Anyways, he’s doing great.”

“Hanamaki! As your co-president of the Oikawa Tooru fanclub, I am so hurt that you didn’t tell me about this sooner! This is worse than Oikawa! I, on the other hand, tell all of my friends whenever some important event happens in my life. I’m not fake like you are,” Sugawara said, shaking his head in disappointment. “Like are you guys even my friends? All I know is Daichi and Asahi and Kiyoko. And all of my other _actual_ friends, since I guess I can’t count you among them anymore. Even Kageyama told me that he had a crush on Hinata, and this is _Kageyama_ we’re talking about.”

“Don’t remind me. Also, I told you that I had a crush on Iwaizumi! In fact, you two were the first two people I told! You can’t just go on and cancel me after comparing me to fucking _Tobio._ I didn’t know that you hated us. I’m gonna start a Twitter feud now and cancel your ass instead.”

“You better believe that I have all sorts of incriminating photos, Suga. Don’t test us,” Hanamaki said.

“Fine, fine, I see how it is. Does Oikawa have anything good in the fridge today?”

“Yeah, I think he still has katsudon from two days ago. Actually, warm me up some, too.”

“I swear, if I didn’t make sure that I always have an obscene amount of leftovers every time I cooked, all of you bitches would just go hungry. I’m so unappreciated in this household,” Tooru sighed. “You both make enough money to hire your own personal chefs. If you don’t want to find one of those, I should just start making you pay me.”

“But where's the fun in that?” Sugawara said as he located the tupperware and some bowls. “Anyways, do you want some, too?”

“If you’re up, I guess. I suppose if all I’m appreciated for is my cooking, I may as well enjoy it, too.”

“I’m the one warming it up, though, so aren’t you the one enjoying my cooking?”

“Suga-chan, if you know what’s good for you, you will shut up immediately.”

“Yeah, Oikawa might kick us out if we hurt his feelings. He is our kind and generous host, after all,” Hanamaki said.

“If only he was as generous with his information as he is with his home,” Sugawara sighed.

“No! We’re not going back to that! Stop making it seem like what I did was bad!” Tooru said, tired of this unjustified slander.

“It wasn’t bad, it was just a betrayal of our trust. A breakage of the bro code, if you will,” said Hanamaki.

Any possible retort of Tooru’s was cut off by Sugawara placing a bowl of katsudon in front of each of them. Hoping that Sugawara and Hanamaki had finally run their course, Tooru gave thanks and dug in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not a lot of Kuroo here, and before you complain he plays a larger role later! Don't worry! Also look up Heartbreaker, I listened to it so much while writing this! You might find that almost all of the songs that I reference are just as story-related as the ones I base the chapter on. I hope at least one of you is out there looking up the lyrics and recognizing all of the little nuances and stuff I felt really clever including.
> 
> Next chapter's gonna be a doozy! I've been waiting for it for actual ages! See ya then!


	5. How Would You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?  
> It's just something that I want to do  
> I'll be taking my time, spending my life  
> Falling deeper in love with you  
> So tell me that you love me too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things before we get started!!
> 
> 1\. It turns out that I'm accidentally putting a lot of fic tropes into this story? This chapter is written in a 4+1 things style, hopefully you'll see what I mean when you get into it.
> 
> 2\. If you never listen to any of the other songs featured or referenced in this fic, I beg you to listen to Moonage Daydream by David Bowie. It has been my lifeblood for the last two months. If you know what it sounds like, it makes the scene it's featured in. Here it is on [Youtube](https://youtu.be/RPUAldgS7Sg) and [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6mib3N4E8PZHAGQ3xy7bho?si=tH1ZgS6TQaKI7JNiMpzXAg)
> 
> 3\. A heads up, with the next chapter there's going to be a bonus paired chapter in Iwaizumi's POV! It'll be posted independently of this fic, but it'll be in the series. It's probably something you'll be looking forward to after this chapter. :D
> 
> I think that's about it! This chapter was really fun to write and I hope you enjoy it! Shoutout to Anya for beta-ing, and I'll see you at the bottom!
> 
> ~~flapdoodle
> 
> [Youtube](https://youtu.be/ZZMZiBCRX4c)  
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6PJ8FF6UR8FZXfEvpHkIVN?si=dxNuJ7R5Q3-atjf9cssNiQ)

If he was being honest, Tooru had no idea where he was going, which was why he wasn’t going to be honest.

Surprising Iwaizumi at his place of work had been a spur of the moment thing. He had only needed Matsukawa to confirm the address of the school and that Iwaizumi wouldn’t be too mad that Tooru just showed up randomly before setting off.

The issue he came across upon his arrival, though, was that he had no idea where he might be able to find Iwaizumi. He had been wandering through the empty halls, hoping that nobody would stop him to ask why a superstar like himself was currently lost in a high school. According to the schedule Matsukawa had sent him, classes were ending in ten minutes, which meant that he needed to get where he needed to be fast.

It would not do to get recognized and swarmed by a bunch of high schoolers. It was the worst possible outcome of this entire effort.

<14:44> _mattsun where am i going_

<14:45> _Rm 108_

<14:45> _thx!! (*´▽`*)_

Tooru saw the door number right before he heard Iwaizumi’s lecture trickling through. He paused out of the line of sight of anybody within the classroom and listened.

“The third type of community interaction is symbiosis. A symbiotic relationship is where two species have a close relationship, and one benefits. The other species may be either helped, harmed, or not be affected at all. Each of those subcategories of symbiosis has a name. Mutualism is where both species benefit, like a rhinoceros and an egret. The egret eats the bugs that live on the rhino, and the rhino gets pest control.”

 _Or like Mothra and Godzilla,_ Tooru thought. He wasn’t that familiar with the Godzilla franchise, so he wasn’t sure if Iwaizumi’s post-anesthesia ramblings had any accuracy, but he still was inclined to believe that they had a symbiotic relationship. After all, Tooru got everything out of this. Whether or not it was mutualistic and Iwaizumi got the same things out of it was uncertain.

As Iwaizumi continued to explain parasitic and commensalistic relationships, Tooru wondered what it was about Iwaizumi that never failed to enthrall him. Was it his passion, the way he clearly cared about everything he talked about? Was it his command of language, the way he knew how to say what he wanted to say? Was it his voice itself, the raspiness and the inflections and the tremors that let on how excited he was?

Tooru could almost picture the way Iwaizumi was pacing around the room, gesturing to whatever was on the board, making sure he had the kids’ attention. And how could he not? Those kids didn’t know how good they had it.

Tooru stood outside the door for an embarrassingly long amount of time before the bell rang and the students flooded out, paying no heed to the stranger they walked by. With them gone, he toed off his shoes and stepped inside the classroom.

“Iwa-chan! Or should I say Iwaizumi-sensei?” Tooru purred, flashing a mischievous smile.

Iwaizumi’s head snapped up from where he was sitting at his desk. “Oikawa? What are you doing here?”

“Great question. I just wanted to see you, your place of work, y’know. And I had time to kill, and Mattsun said it’d be fine, so here I am!”

“Oh. Well, I hope you weren’t expecting much. I don’t think you really need a grand tour, or anything.” Iwaizumi was quickly recovering from his initial shock. Much to Tooru’s delight, his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, revealing his forearms for all to see.

“That’s OK. I’ve seen a lot of the school already.”

Though Iwaizumi looked at him curiously, Tooru was not about to expound on his escapades in the school’s halls.

“Anyways, what’re you doing?” Tooru asked, eyeing the colored pen in one of Iwaizumi’s hands and what looked like a test in the other.

“Just grading Tuesday’s test. Do you want to help? It’s probably not what you came here to do, but-”

“Of course! I’d love to help!”

Tooru took a seat in the chair closest to Iwaizumi’s desk, his own pen, answer key, and stack of awaiting students’ papers in front of him.

The silence filling the room was as comfortable as a sweater as Tooru gradually started to memorize the answer key. The sun was at an angle where it was able to shine directly into the windows, flooding the room with a warm golden light. It wouldn’t set for another couple of hours, but hopefully they wouldn’t still be grading papers when that time came around.

Absentmindedly, Tooru broke the peace. “What if I started autographing all of the quizzes? Actually, how do you think they would react if they knew that Oikawa Tooru was grading their biology test?”

“I’m not sure I want to find out, so please don’t. If any of them ask why the handwriting is different on the ones that you graded, I’ll just say that my friend helped me out without specifying who,” Iwaizumi hummed, focus remaining on the papers in front of him.

There was that word again. 

_Friend._

Simultaneously the bane of his existence and his reason for living. Tooru was very tempted to just tell Iwaizumi that he wanted more than that.

The only thing stopping him was his uncertainty of how Iwaizumi would respond. The stakes were high enough that if he took that risk, he might be shattered if the cards didn’t turn up in his favor.

“Oikawa? You good?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking,” Tooru replied, hoping that was enough to dismiss the matter.

It was not. “What about?” Iwaizumi asked, a teasing smile crossing his face.

A very small and very traitorous part of Tooru was telling him to be honest, to say it right then. A much larger and much more rational part of Tooru scrambled to think of an adequate reply that was anything but an outright confession. “Nothing much. Just how it’s OK to tell me that you’re ashamed of telling people you’re my friend.” Hopefully a touch of fake pouting would make sure Iwaizumi knew that that was a joke.

Praise the aliens, he did. “Oh, am I? I should be the one accusing you of not telling anyone about me.”

If only Iwaizumi knew how wrong that was. “I introduced you to Hanamaki! But fine, I’ll find an opportunity for you to meet all of my friends soon.”

That took Iwaizumi aback. “Wait, you’re not serious, right? I don’t actually need to meet any of your friends. They probably wouldn’t care to meet me.”

“Well, I care about you, and I want my friends to meet my Iwa-chan. They’re not that much different from me, and we get along fine, right?” Tooru said, meeting Iwaizumi’s eyes and lowering his voice. He was very serious about this, and he wanted to make sure Iwaizumi knew that.

“Yours? Your Iwa-chan?” murmured Iwaizumi.

Oh, fuck. He had messed it up. How was Tooru supposed to respond? He felt his face start to burn as his mind raced to find an answer.

“Wait, sorry, I was saying my friends and it accidentally...kinda...y’know?” Tooru scrambled to fix his mistake, finally looking away in embarrassment. Was anything he was saying making any sense?

“No, no, you’re fine. I totally understand.” Iwaizumi’s voice was still quieter than usual. His gaze was still fixed on Tooru. “How are you doing on those tests?”

“It’s good, I think! I’m almost done, anyways.” The change in topic was welcome; he needed to clear his mind of this haze. He needed to focus. He needed to grade these goddamn tests.

Fortunately, that task didn’t take too much longer. Tooru naturally offered to drive Iwaizumi home, and naturally Iwaizumi accepted. They walked out of the building, side by side, to where Tooru’s car sat in the parking lot, sticking out like a sore thumb.

“So, Iwa-chan,” Tooru began, turning out of the school and making his way to Iwaizumi’s apartment building, “You’re teaching your kids about mutualistic relationships? Like Mothra and Godzilla?”

“God, Oikawa, why do you always bring that up,” Iwaizumi groaned. “But, yes, like Mothra and Godzilla. Most of the time, at least.”

“Oh? I’ve never really been into Kaiju. Please, enlighten me.”

“Really? I’ve been told that I can get way too passionate about this.”

“I’m sure you’re fine. Go ahead, I’m listening.” He’d get to listen to Iwaizumi and learn about Iwaizumi’s passions and interests in one conversation? It was a good deal if you asked him.

“OK, well, there’s a lot of movies, and a lot of them retcon each other, but generally, Mothra and Godzilla are allies. I mean, they’ve fought a lot of times, but that only happens when Godzilla’s destroying everything and Mothra needs to stop him. In the most recent movie, the American one, she actually dies, but Godzilla absorbs her energy and gets a lot of new powers, like he was able to shoot energy in the shape of Mothra? Kinda a cool scene, but the movie was generally mediocre. That was a real symbiotic relationship if I’ve ever seen one. If you’re talking about the classic movies, though, then there’s _Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster,_ where Mothra convinces Godzilla and Rodan to join her against Ghidorah, which is one of my favorite movies.” Iwaizumi proceeded to explain the entire history of Mothra and Godzilla’s relationship, Tooru asking just enough questions to get him to delve into different tangents on other aspects of Kaiju lore.

The drive was much too short, yet Tooru was still drunk on Iwaizumi by the end of it. The way Iwaizumi’s words reverberated in his mind and settled in his soul was almost too much to bear. How selfish must he be to want more than he already had?

Tooru watched, feeling himself deflate, as Iwaizumi started to get out of the car. He was nearly ready to come to terms with the loss of Iwaizumi’s presence when the man in question paused, looking back towards Tooru.

“Hey, do you wanna come upstairs? If you have time, I have a lot of Kaiju movies on DVD if you wanna watch.”

“Of course I have time! I would love to join you. Lemme just park and I’ll meet you there in a minute.”

\----------

Iwaizumi had shown Tooru his interests, so now Tooru figured that it was only fair to show Iwaizumi his.

<20:39> _on my way~_

<20:41> _Great. Door’s unlocked._

Tooru hummed as he made his way through the building, going up to Iwaizumi’s floor. The journey was much more familiar to him than it had been when Iwaizumi’s leg had still been broken and he had had the good fortune of not being an utter mess any time Iwaizumi was around.

He stopped humming as he approached his destination. He could swear that he heard guitar music leaking through the cracks in the door.

With as much stealth as he could muster, he slipped inside.

Yeah, Iwaizumi was playing the guitar. The song seemed familiar, though he couldn’t make it out quite yet. There was something off about it that prevented Tooru from recognizing it.

Iwaizumi must have recognized that, too, as he stopped with a groan. Tooru watched from behind him as Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair and glared at the staves glowing on his computer before starting up again, looking carefully at each chord as he played.

Tooru listened, visualizing the score in his mind as Iwaizumi played it.

Wait.

He knew why it seemed so familiar.

This was _his song._

Tooru barely managed to suppress his gasp as Iwaizumi’s words ran through his mind on loop: _Typically I like to learn songs that are really important to me._

His music was important to Iwaizumi. This song was still important to Tooru, too, despite being written years ago. It had been right after he had suddenly found himself propelled into stardom, and he had needed a way to vent about how he had felt untethered and unstable after such a cataclysmic change. The world had been shifting under his feet, and he hadn’t known how to deal with it. Sometimes, he still didn’t.

“That’s the wrong key, y’know. It’s supposed to be in G major.”

Iwaizumi started, whipping around to face Tooru and slamming his laptop closed, as if that would make Tooru unrealize what Iwaizumi had been doing. “Jesus, Oikawa, how long have you been there? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to listen to you butcher my song,” Tooru teased. “You do know how to tell what the key is, right? You see what sharps or flats there are by the clef. And this is G! It’s the easiest after C! I expected more from you, honestly.” He folded himself over the back of the couch, studying Iwaizumi. Tooru was pleased to note that he was blushing.

“Shut up, Shittykawa. You don’t have to be an ass.” Iwaizumi pushed Tooru’s head away, almost knocking him off balance. “Are we gonna go, now?”

“We have enough time for you to play it for me. In the right key this time,” Tooru grinned.

“You’re insufferable,” Iwaizumi said, picking the guitar back up and beginning to strum.

Tooru’s eyes fluttered shut as he listened. It was by no means a perfect performance, but he didn’t need perfection. Tooru just needed to know that his music was important enough to Iwaizumi to be held close to his heart. Tooru just needed to know that _he_ was important enough to Iwaizumi to be held close to his heart.

As the song drew to a close, Tooru’s eyes stayed shut, keeping up his daydream of being Iwaizumi’s for a few moments longer. When he finally managed to open them, he was met with Iwaizumi’s expectant face.

“I’m impressed. Another strong performance from Iwa-chan,” Tooru said, drawing himself back up to full height. “Thank you.”

“Oh. You’re welcome,” Iwaizumi said, turning to look back at him.

The world seemed to freeze for a moment as their eyes met.

Iwaizumi was the one to break the trance. “Should we go now?”

“Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! Let’s get going, Iwa-chan,” Tooru said, urging Iwaizumi out the door and to the car.

It took an hour to reach their destination, far away from most light pollution. Tooru grabbed the blanket and bag of snacks and began to mount the grassy hill, steps matching Iwaizumi’s.

There was a pleasant burn in his legs by the time they reached the top. Tooru spread out the blanket and all but fell onto it, while Iwaizumi followed more cautiously.

“So there’s supposed to be a meteor shower tonight?” Iwaizumi asked after he had joined Tooru in staring at the night sky.

“Yup, unless my sources were wrong. If not, the stars are still pretty, don’t you think?”

Iwaizumi hummed in agreement.

“Do you see that constellation over there? The one that looks kinda like a pentagon? That’s Cepheus, the king. The brightest star in it is called Alpha Cephei. There’s also Delta Cephei, which is a prototype of the Cepheid variable class of star. Cepheus contains some of the largest known stars, too. In mythology, Cepheus is a bit of a bitch, but the constellation is one of my favorites,” Tooru finished.

“You know a lot about stars, huh?”

“Duh. It’s only natural to know about stars when I’m a star myself.”

That earned a hard jab in the side from Iwaizumi. Tooru looked over in protest, feigning serious injury.

It was a hard mask to maintain when he noticed how close their faces were. If Tooru really wanted, he could just kiss Iwaizumi right now.

And god _damn_ did he want to kiss Iwaizumi right now. The only thing holding him back was the creeping suspicion that Iwaizumi wouldn’t respond well. There was no way in hell that he would be cool with getting kissed out of the blue.

“C’mon, idiot. Are you gonna tell me why you’re actually into stars or not?”

“I’m sure you’re well aware that kids go through different phases, right? I guess you could say that I never grew out of my astronomy phase. I’ve always been super into space and aliens. It amazes me that there’s things out there that are so massive I can’t even begin to understand the size of them. In Cepheus alone, there’s a black hole that’s over ten thousand times bigger than the one in the center of the Milky Way. I can’t even begin to comprehend what that means! I mean, with how big everything is, the chances of there actually being a Space Godzilla are huge, right? It just hasn’t come to destroy Earth yet.”

“I’m patiently waiting for the day that happens,” Iwaizumi said, smiling.

Tooru laughed and turned his head back to the heavens. As he watched, meteors began to drop into vision like diamonds. Their trails seared themselves into his retinas as he watched with bated breath, taking in their astral beauty.

At his side, he barely registered Iwaizumi shifting ever so slightly closer.

\----------

Tooru was so close to shattering the soundproof glass separating him from Hanamaki and shattering Hanamaki right afterwards.

“You cannot keep telling me to make it funkier! What does that even mean?” he cried. “This is as funky as it gets!”

“ _Nah,_ ” came the voice over the intercom. “ _You can get funkier._ ”

“I can’t believe you. Don’t you have things to do instead of using me to make the funkiest song ever? Like, actual songs to produce? Other people to make rue the day they were born?”

“ _It’s Sunday, baby! I don’t have to be here, so I can do anything I want, which is coincidentally to still be here!_ ”

“I don’t have to be here, either, but the difference is that I don’t _want_ to be here. Doing this, at least. How did you even get it in your head to make the funkiest song ever in the first place?”

“ _Mattsun bet me that I couldn’t make a song that was funkier than anything that Earth, Wind, and Fire has ever put out, so I wrote this to prove him wrong. Now you just gotta match my funk levels. I’d ask you to exceed them, but I know that’s impossible. I am the funkiest._ ”

Tooru sighed, once again regretting introducing Hanamaki to Matsukawa. “Yeah, yeah, you’re funky. You sing it, then.”

“ _Oikawa, you know that of the many things I can do, singing is not one of them. That’s the only reason I’m not dominating the music industry right now. Oh, by the way, your phone just went off._ ”

“Is it important?” Tooru sighed.

“ _Well, it doesn’t look like it’s anything business related, so you can do another take._ ”

“Makki, I am not doing another take. The vocals you’ve recorded are funky enough, just use them.” Tooru didn’t know how he had gotten caught up in this in the first place, since this wasn’t his song and Hanamaki had never given him a good reason why he should sacrifice his morning. “I’ve done all that I can do. Take it or leave it.”

They stared at each other through the glass, Tooru just waiting for his friend to back down. He didn’t even last thirty seconds.

“ _Fine. I see how it is._ ”

With a self-satisfied huff, Tooru left the recording room, Hanamaki rolling his chair back to meet him.

“Anyways, I was kinda floating around the idea of throwing a party in a couple weeks. It might be fun to catch up with everybody, y’know?” Hanamaki said, tossing Tooru’s phone to him.

“Yeah, I like that idea. It would- wait, Makki, why didn’t you tell me that it was Iwa-chan who texted me?” Tooru gasped, reading over the message.

<11:21> _Hey, wanna get lunch or something?_

Iwaizumi rarely initiated. This was a big deal.

“Oh, didn’t I?” Hanamaki said with a mischievous grin on his face.

“I hate you so much, you know that? But, if you want help planning, I’m good at that. See you tomorrow, probably!”

<11:26> _yea sure!! do u want me to meet u somewhere?_

<11:27> _Head over here._

<11:27> _got it, ill see u soon~_

“Iwa-chan! Over here!” Tooru called, waving as he approached the marketplace. Iwaizumi was right where he said he’d be, looking up from his phone as he heard his name.

“Hey, Oikawa. Nice getup,” Iwaizumi said in reference to Tooru’s face mask and sunglasses.

“It’s my standard disguise,” Tooru shrugged. “It’s simple, but it works. And I’d rather not get swarmed by fans, especially since there’s so many people here. Anyways, what’s up? What’s the plan?”

Iwaizumi shrugged. “I didn’t really have one. That’s not a problem, right?”

“Nope, not at all. It’s actually been ages since I’ve been to one of these places.” Tooru took a big breath in, taking in the smell of food and people. It was refreshing, being in the middle of so much life. He had feared that he would get recognized, but he just felt like a single droplet in a flowing river. Insignificant.

It was nice.

“Great, then you won’t have any complaints if we go find yakitori first?”

Tooru gestured to the sprawling market before them. “Lead the way, Iwa-chan!”

The yatai were easily recognizable by their heavenly scent. The dexterity with which Iwaizumi was able to procure food was almost stunning. He passed things back for Tooru to hold while he paid, insisting that it was both incredibly cheap and Tooru had already paid for most of their other outings, so it was really only fair.

“It’s been ages since I’ve had takoyaki,” Tooru groaned around a mouthful of the fried dough. “The last time was probably with Makki during Golden Week a couple years back. This is the good shit.”

“Damn right. You gotta get out more, though.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. We should go somewhere else now, then.” The day was beautiful, and so was the feeling of Iwaizumi by his side.

“We can take the train to that one park?” Iwaizumi offered. “What? Why the face?”

“Uh, I don’t actually have a train card.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in disbelief. “How do you live here and not have a train card?”

“I don’t know! It’s not always convenient, but I just drive myself everywhere. And, like, fear of getting recognized.”

“For somebody who enjoys attention, you sure hate being around people. Whatever, just follow me, Shittykawa.”

Tooru couldn’t help but feel that he had messed up somehow. “I mean, yeah, getting recognized is nice, and I love my fans a lot, but not when you’re in a train car and everybody’s looking at you because _hey, isn’t that Oikawa Tooru?_ and it’s not just a one and done interaction. You can’t escape if you’re stuck in a train and somebody’s being weird.”

“That’s fair. You also can’t escape if you hit somebody with a car, but you still stuck with me afterwards, didn’t you?” Iwaizumi grinned.

“Iwa-chaaan, that’s not the same!” _You’re handsome and smart and nice and I always want to spend more time with you instead of less._ “I couldn’t just leave you, you were so poor and helpless! I felt bad, I had to help you out the best I could!”

Iwaizumi laughed, making Tooru smile with self-satisfaction. “Well, I don’t need your pity anymore, and you still haven’t tried to escape, so I’ll take that as a good thing.”

 _I only want to fall deeper, you know._ “You should, I’m the best thing.”

“I take it back, you’re so awful.”

“Well, you haven’t tried to escape either, so I can’t be that bad.” _But am I good enough for you to not turn me down? I’m not sure._

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. You’re actually a pretty good friend,” Iwaizumi said with a bit too much fondness for Tooru to deal with.

 _I’d be a great boyfriend, too._ “Aww, Iwa-chan’s feeling nice today! Did something good happen?”

“I don’t think anything in particular. Hey, we’re here. I’ll go through first, and you can use my card afterward, got it?”

The ride to the park was quick and easy. The park itself was beautiful, a few renegade trees starting to change color as people milled around, enjoying the weather.

The sun did feel nice on Tooru’s face. Iwaizumi wasn’t wrong, he definitely needed to get out more. The heat of the day ran down his back and made his hands feel loose. He wished he had a guitar or a piano right now. He should come here to write songs later.

Maybe Iwaizumi would join him. Maybe he would serenade Iwaizumi on a picnic blanket in the sun. Maybe they could dance on the grass underneath the trees, a modern-day Orpheus and Eurydice, except Iwaizumi wouldn’t step on a snake and die. Maybe he would be able to call it a date, since even though this had the feeling of one, it wasn’t, not really.

Tooru wished it was. He wished he could grab Iwaizumi’s hand and peck his cheek and tell him how regal he looked when his face was cast in sunlight.

But he couldn’t. Not yet.

\----------

<14:34> _iwa-chan!! idk if mattsun already invited u but makki’s having a party next weekend, u wanna go?_

<14:38> _Yeah, he told me about it. He was actually gonna take me_

“Bitch,” Tooru whispered under his breath. “I’m the only one who takes Iwa-chan anywhere.”

<14:40> _great! i can introduce u to some of my friends!!_

<14:41> _Sounds like fun_

\----------

Hanamaki opened the door before Tooru could finish knocking. “Oikawa! Welcome to mi casa!”

“Wow, sometimes I forget that you actually have your own house. Also, since when do you speak Spanish?”

“Since I wanted to. Anyways, come in, come in. Before you search the whole house, Iwaizumi hasn’t shown up yet, so don’t worry about it. Now, I gotta go make sure that Kunimi hasn’t challenged Kindaichi to a drinking contest too early. I fear that Kindaichi won’t survive. I’ll be right back.”

Tooru made his way into the dim, multi-colored lounge, where it seemed like most of the other party goers were. He stuck to the walls, seeing who he could pick out of the crowd as he made his way to the bar.

Kuroo was already there, making himself a drink. “Hey, Oika’a. Can I do ya for something?”

“Kuro-chan. Uh, maybe a martini for now?”

“You got it.”

Tooru watched as Kuroo started grabbing bottles. “How’d you learn to make drinks?”

“I used to work at a bar part time. It’s a surprisingly useful skill for a manager.”

“Yeah, I could guess. Makki doesn’t even really like most cocktails, but he always keeps the bar stocked for things like this. A word of advice, make sure you don’t get stuck here all night. It wouldn’t be much fun,” Tooru said, hopping up on a barstool.

Kuroo gave a hum of acknowledgement and handed Tooru his martini. “It actually might be a good way to meet the people here, though. I do know some of them, like Suga! Speak of the devil.”

“Hey, guys. Kuroo, nice to see you again! I hope you’re treating Oikawa well, or I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“You got it.”

“And Oikawa, is Iwaizumi coming? I wanna meet him.”

Tooru did not appreciate the devilish glint in Sugawara’s eyes, nor did he like the realization painted on Kuroo’s face.

“Iwaizumi? Oika’a, do you have something you’re not telling me?”

Sugawara gasped dramatically, and Tooru sure hoped that the colored lights masked the blush on his face. “Oikawa Tooru, are you saying that you haven’t confided in your manager about your crush?”

“Don’t call it that, please.”

“You can’t expect to build a good relationship with your manager if you don’t even tell him that,” Sugawara continued. “Either you tell him now, or I tell him.”

“What’s there to say? I’m hopelessly in love with him? That’s about it,” Tooru said, taking a sip from his glass.

It proceeded to spray out of his mouth when Sugawara punched him in the stomach.

“God, now you’ve just gotta say that to his face, and I can finally stop hearing about it.”

“Yeah, do it tonight, even,” Kuroo suggested with a sly smile.

Tooru did his best to collect himself, crossing his legs and reclining back against the counter. “Shut up, both of you. He’s gonna end up walking in right as you’re saying something embarrassing. I’m changing the subject, uh, is Dai-chan here?”

“He should be. Last time I saw him he was joining a game of pool, I think.”

“Oya? I gotta go beat him, then, I’ll see you guys later,” Kuroo said, all but sprinting away to find the game.

“Eh, they’ll be fine,” Sugawara said, watching him go. “Wanna go bully Atsumu?”

“Oh, is he here? Of course. Is Osamu here, too?”

“If he is, I haven’t seen him yet. Fukunaga’s catering so I’d bet he’s over there,” Sugawara said, “which I can respect. Wait, change of plans, who’s that?”

“Who’s who?” Tooru asked, looking towards the door. “Wait, fuck.” His eyes went wide and he swore he stopped breathing as he took in Iwaizumi, who was looking around the room cautiously. How dare he look that good in a button up.

“Is that Iwa-chan?” Sugawara gasped. “I must admit, you’ve got good taste.”

“Suga-chan, when he gets over here you’d better not be weird or I’ll throttle you.”

“Fine, fine. Go bring him over.”

At Sugawara’s urging, Tooru slid off of the stool and made his way through the crowd to get to Iwaizumi. It didn’t take long for Iwaizumi to see him, too, and he visibly relaxed as Tooru got closer.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself, Iwa-chan.” Tooru wanted to drink in the moment. A small grin spread across his face. It was going to be a good night, he could tell. “Let’s go over here, Suga-chan wants to meet you.”

Iwaizumi didn’t argue as he was led back to the bar where Sugawara was waiting with anticipation.

“I take it you’re Iwaizumi?” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “I’m Sugawara Koushi. Feel free to call me Suga.”

“Yes, hi. Nice to meet you.” Iwaizumi said, sitting next to Tooru.

“Suga-chan was one of my first friends in the industry. We’re with different labels, but he still manages to be a pain in my ass,” Tooru explained, taking another leisurely sip of his drink.

“Don’t worry, he loves me. Anyways, what do you do, Iwaizumi?”

“Oh, I’m a biology teacher.”

“No way, in a different life I’m pretty sure I’d be a teacher, too! I bet Oikawa hasn’t introduced you to anybody else yet, so should we make our rounds? Daichi’s probably with Kuroo and Kuroo’s probably with Bokuto, so we should find them, first,” Sugawara suggested. “I’m not sure who else is here, but we’ll find out at live karaoke.”

“Is there a difference between live karaoke and normal karaoke?” Iwaizumi asked.

Tooru nodded as they started off to find their other friends. “Yeah, Makki doesn’t have an actual karaoke machine or anything, but since almost everybody here can play an instrument he assembles a band to back whoever’s singing. It’s really fun, actually.”

“Says you, the professional singer.”

“That’s true, I suppose. If you don’t want to join in, you’ll just have to clap for me, Iwa-chan.”

It didn’t take long to find Daichi and Kuroo, since they were arguing loud enough to be heard over the music from a room away. Instead of approaching them like Sugawara, Tooru led Iwaizumi over to Bokuto, who was indeed with the other two.

“Bokkun, this is Iwaizumi! He’s a friend of mine.”

“Iwaizumi, nice to meet you! I’m Bokuto Koutarou. Sorry about those guys, Kuroo thought Daichi was trying to steal his turn, but I accidentally went instead of Daichi, so it’s kinda my fault, but that’s fine. They’ll probably be done soon, though.”

“Great. Is Akaashi here, too?” Tooru asked.

“Nah, he’s going to Europe tomorrow, so he’s going to bed early. Actually, I should probably leave the party early since I’m going with him, but right now it’s my turn again,” Bokuto said before turning back to the billiard table.

Iwaizumi was staring after him, seemingly starstruck. “Oikawa, that’s Bokuto?”

“Yeah? What about it, Iwa-chan?”

“I just really like the stuff he produces. I can’t believe you know all of these people.”

“Oh, so you’ve never heard of me but you’re Bokkun’s biggest fan? I must admit, I’m a little hurt. But you do meet people once you’re here for so long, even people you wish you didn’t. Now that I think about it, I think Ushiwaka’s here since Tendou was invited because Tendou is friends with Makki, for some reason. Tobio’s also here since Suga-chan threatened Makki to invite him, too. Watch out for them for me, please.”

Iwaizumi gave him a wary glance. “Why don’t you like them?”

“Because they’re the banes of my existence. If we run into them, which I pray we don’t, you’ll see.”

As Bokuto finished demolishing Kuroo and Daichi, Tooru took the opportunity to introduce Iwaizumi to the other two men. Fortunately, the worst of Kuroo’s behavior was the teasing expressions he made at Tooru whenever Iwaizumi wasn’t looking.

As they settled into conversation, Tooru finally started picking up on how tense Iwaizumi was. He supposed that it would be stressful meeting a bunch of new people, especially when most of those people were internationally renowned. It was almost imperceptible how Iwaizumi’s voice was strained and the way he fidgeted whenever focus was on him, but Tooru still noticed.

Tooru needed to check on him, and fast. “Hey, I should ask Makki to get karaoke going before Bokkun has to leave. Iwa-chan, wanna come with?”

“Sure,” he said, relief bleeding into his tone.

Tooru didn’t hesitate to whisk him away. “Are you doing OK?” he murmured as soon as they were out of earshot.

“Yeah, it’s just a little overwhelming, you know? Well, you probably don’t, but it is. Like, that’s literally Semi Eita over there, probably one of the biggest names in the world, and I’m just me? I mean, I was just talking to Bokuto Koutarou, who’s produced some of my favorite albums ever, and it’s really surreal, because why would he be talking to me? What did I do to deserve that?”

“Well, what did I do to deserve talking to you? We’re all just people, Iwa-chan, and I think you’re better than most. You don’t need to worry about proving yourself because you’re already here. Makki and I invited you. Nobody’s gonna give you shit for being here, and if they do then I’ll ruin their career, I promise you that.”

Iwaizumi huffed a laugh, but otherwise failed to reassure Tooru that he had gotten through to him. “Sure. Where’s Makki, anyway?”

“I haven’t seen him since I got here. I bet he’s outside.”

It didn’t take long to find Hanamaki and get live karaoke going, but Tooru made sure to keep a close eye on Iwaizumi. He wished he could tell Iwaizumi that he didn’t need to feel like a stranger, that he didn’t need to have a long list of accolades to impress everybody because he already impressed Tooru every damn day. Tooru wanted to spend days and nights reminding Iwaizumi of how incredible he was. He wanted to tell Iwaizumi how much he was loved.

It helped once they were back within the familiarity of Matsukawa and Hanamaki, though. Sugawara and the others orbited around their spot, but Tooru saw Iwaizumi relax in the company of people he already knew.

Eventually, though, Hanamaki saw fit to nudge Tooru while Matsukawa was saying something to Iwaizumi. “Hey, you should go up there. We’ve waited long enough, work your magic. On Iwaizumi, specifically.”

“You think I should?” Oh, he wanted to, so badly.

“What’s stopping you?”

It was all the impetus Tooru needed to announce that he was going to take his turn for karaoke. He left their little group standing at the back of the room and made his way up to the stage on the other side. As he waited for the band to queue up the song he had told them, he noted with pride that the already crowded room seemed a little more full.

The guitar started and Tooru followed a moment after.

“ _I’m an alligator! I’m a mama-papa comin’ for you!_ ”

It was easy to capture the attention of the audience with two lines. As a less imposing melody started, Tooru pulled back, leaving the people wanting.

“ _I’m a space invader, I’ll be a rock ‘n’ rollin’ bitch for you._ ”

What they felt was at his command, and he was toying with their emotions without a care for the hearts he was going to break.

“ _Keep your mouth shut, you’re squawking like a pink monkey bird._ ”

He was fire, and he wanted them all to burn. He would spread his flames until the whole house was consumed by his music.

“ _And I’m busting up my brains for the words._ ”

And then there was Iwaizumi, as enraptured as everybody else, perhaps even more so.

“ _Keep your ‘lectric eye on me, babe._ ”

After all, this song was for him, wasn’t it? But Tooru wouldn’t give in, not yet, at least.

“ _Put your ray gun to my head. Press your space face close to mine, love._ ”

He strode forward, observing the audience as they waited for his next command. He was their master, after all. On the stage, with a microphone in his hand, he was in complete control.

“ _Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!_ ”

He glanced towards Iwaizumi, taunting him. Iwaizumi hadn’t earned it, yet.

“ _Don’t fake it, baby! Lay the real thing on me._ ”

He needed to feel the same fire that Tooru did. He needed to be at Tooru’s beck and call. He needed to know that he was the most incredible person in the room.

“ _The church of man, love, is such a holy place to be._ ”

Because goddammit, he deserved to know. The only person in the entire audience that mattered right now was Iwaizumi. Tooru wanted him to collapse under the weight of that knowledge and his song.

“ _Make me, baby! Make me know you really care, make me jump into the air._ ”

Because he felt so fucking much, and he was putting it all into each note he sang. How could anybody withstand such a force?

“ _Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe. Put your ray gun to my head._ ”

He reached out for the audience, hoping with hooded eyes that Iwaizumi knew that Tooru was reaching for him.

“ _Press your space face close to mine, love. Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!_ ”

If the blush burning on Iwaizumi’s face was any indicator, he might.

As he repeated the chorus, he felt the world fall away until it was just him, Iwaizumi, and the microphone in his hand. He would build a new world out of lyrics and raw emotion, he would draw Iwaizumi close and never let go.

And maybe Iwaizumi wouldn’t want to go.

“ _Keep your ‘lectric eye on me, babe. Put your ray gun to my head. Press your space face close to mine, love! Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!_ ”

The guitars crooned around him, sensing that Tooru’s heart was almost spent.

“ _Freak out, far out, in out,_ ” he murmured into the microphone.

For what felt like the first time in his life, he broke eye contact with Iwaizumi as he twirled around to the tune of the guitar being freed from his influence. It cried into the audience, awakening them from Tooru’s spell, as he replaced the microphone on its stand and left the stage.

In respect of his ended reign, the crowd parted for him as he made his way back to his friends, back to Iwaizumi.

After giving him much adulation, Hanamaki and Matsukawa made a good choice and fucked off to who knew where. Tooru took his rightful place beside Iwaizumi and watched the stage to see who would try and fill the void he had left.

Iwaizumi leaned close to be heard over the music. “David Bowie, huh?” he muttered.

“Yeah,” Tooru grinned. “Even though I told you that I don’t really have favorites, I do really like him and Frank Sinatra since a lot of their music has space theming. And it’s just really good.”

“I should have guessed.”

Tooru wanted to ask for Iwaizumi’s thoughts on his performance, but he knew it was so much sweeter to let it loom over them, fermenting into something delicious and heady in their minds.

Not that it wasn’t already, but Tooru wanted the whole effect to sink in. He wanted to leave Iwaizumi chasing for more like Tooru had been since day one.

He was tired of constantly holding his heart back. He wanted Iwaizumi to reciprocate.

\----------

“Hey, Makki, have you seen Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked. It was past the point of being late at night and well into being early in the morning; very few people still remained at the party, and Tooru was among the few that was unaffected by either exhaustion or hangover.

“It’d better be to fucking confess, Tooru,” Sugawara interrupted. “There is no way that boy is not head over heels in love with you.”

“Yeah, I’d say go for it. I think he’s on the upstairs patio. Good luck,” Hanamaki winked.

Iwaizumi was where Hanamaki said he’d be, leaning on the railing of the rooftop deck that had been closed off during the party, if the lack of disaster was any indication. It made sense that Hanamaki would want to keep a space for anybody who wanted a bit of respite.

Iwaizumi was dragged back into the fray when Tooru settled next to him.

“Hello there,” Tooru hummed. “Did you enjoy the party?”

“I think so. There were definitely some good bits.”

“Like?”

“I liked watching you perform. I’ve never actually seen you sing. It was...incredible.”

There it was. “Oh, thank you. Whenever I perform for an audience it feels like I transcend somehow. Everybody else follows me down.”

“Yeah, I felt that.” Iwaizumi shifted at Tooru’s side as the rising sun began to cast its glow over the world. “Can I hug you?”

That, on the other hand, was unexpected. “Of course?”

Iwaizumi took the opportunity to bury his face in Tooru’s chest as Tooru’s arms wrapped around him. Cautiously, Tooru let his chin rest on Iwaizumi’s head.

“Are you doing OK?”

“Yeah, I just needed this for one moment,” Iwaizumi muttered, pulling away. Tooru missed the warmth immediately.

“Can I tell you something?” Tooru asked, ready for the confrontation.

Tooru was not a cautious person unless he had no idea how to approach a situation, which only happened often when it came to Iwaizumi. However, he finally knew exactly how he wanted to go about this massive hurricane of emotion swirling in his chest and battering his heart. He was ready to jump in, consequences be damned. After all, what could go wrong?

“Go ahead.”

“You mean a lot to me. More than I ever thought you would. More than you probably should. It’s overwhelming, sometimes, the extent of it. You deserve the world, and I want to give it to you.”

“Oikawa.”

“Iwaizumi, I need you to know that I need you, and I need to know that you need me too.”

“Oikawa, are you asking me out?” Iwaizumi whispered.

Tooru met Iwaizumi’s eyes, and his resolve crumbled when he saw what they contained. “Yes, I am.”

“I- fuck, Oikawa, I can’t. I can’t do that. No. I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol


	6. Take a Chance on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honey, I'm still free  
> Take a chance on me  
> Gonna do my very best  
> And it ain't no lie  
> If you put me to the test  
> If you let me try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!! Back at it again after the emotional turmoil of last chapter! As I'm sure you remember, this chapter is paired with a bonus Iwa-POV chapter, which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253774). It doesn't matter which one you read first, but you get something different out of both of them, so even though some scenes are repeated I'd strongly recommend reading both!! It'd mean a lot to me!! I also introduce a couple of OCs over there that will show up here in a future chapter!!
> 
> I think that's about it for now, shoutout to Anya for beta-ing and I'll see you at the bottom!
> 
> ~~flapdoodle
> 
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6vQN2a9QSgWcm74KEZYfDL?si=_XWTwX78TJm5fOIf1GwEZQ)  
> [Youtube](https://youtu.be/-crgQGdpZR0)

Tooru didn’t make any effort to stop Iwaizumi from retreating back inside. Even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t, seeing as he was still desperately trying to process Iwaizumi’s words.

What was he going to do now?

“Hey, Oikawa? Iwaizumi just came down and asked Mattsun to take him home. Is everything alright?” Hanamaki asked, concern etched clear on his and Sugawara’s faces as Tooru arrived back at the party.

“Everything’s fine. I’m actually gonna head home, too. See you guys later.” He was out the door before anybody else could drill him with more questions.

How had this gone so wrong? He had been so sure that Iwaizumi would say yes. Had Tooru done something wrong? Had he crossed a line somewhere without noticing and fucked it all up without realizing?

It felt like some essential part of him had just been torn out and set on fire, leaving him feeling hollow.

Exhaustion suddenly weighed heavy on him, crushing his ability to think or feel anything except _why._ He didn’t remember the drive home, nor did he remember changing out of his clothes.

As he laid in bed, the only thing he could remember was that look in Iwaizumi’s eyes, dark and unreadable. What used to captivate and amaze Tooru had turned against him, unwavering as it speared him through the heart.

It seemed as if the only thing he could do now was hope the bleeding would stop.

—————

“Tooru! Open the fucking door!”

Tooru rolled over, doing his best to ignore the pounding on his bedroom door. He was so tired, why couldn’t Hanamaki just leave him alone?

“Why would you even lock your door in the first place? I’m going to fucking kick it down if you don’t open it in the next five seconds. Five-”

“Fine, I’m coming!” Tooru called, blanket draped over his shoulders as he pulled the door open. He was faced with an unnervingly serious looking Hanamaki. “Did you break into my house?”

Hanamaki sighed and pushed past him. “I’ve always had a key, dumbass. I borrowed your extra and made a copy ages ago for situations like this. Nobody’s heard from you in days, Oikawa. Suga and I feel like shit because we pressured you into doing it. What even happened?”

“What’s there to say? I asked him out, he rejected me. It’s not either of your faults, though. I wanted to do it, too. I thought he would say yes,” Tooru said, chuckling at how insignificant it seemed when he said it like that. He had failed so many times in his life, how was this failure any different? He just needed to learn from it and move on.

He knew that doing that would be a lot harder than it sounded, though.

“I did, too,” Hanamaki said, looking at something on Tooru’s phone. “Shit, you’re still listening to your sad playlist? You haven’t even moved on to your starting to get less sad playlist?”

“Makki, I’m fine. Just leave me alone, alright?”

“Fuck no. When was the last time you ate something?”

Tooru racked the last few days of his memories, trying to think of when he was last in the kitchen. “I think I had coffee yesterday.”

Hanamaki looked like he was about to explode. “OK. You are going to take a shower and change into some clean clothes. I don’t even want to know how long you’ve been wearing that. While you do that, I’m going to make you food.”

Tooru knew better than to argue, having faced Hanamaki’s wrath many times in the past. He forced himself to grab anything out of his closet and turn on the hot water.

The heat and steam seemed to loosen him up a bit. The combination of the routine nature of showering and the feeling of being clean did wonders for his attitude. He didn’t need to think about any of his problems on the other side of the glass door; all that mattered was the feeling of the water pounding on his back.

When he went downstairs, Tooru found Hanamaki already eating and another bowl set beside him.

After sitting down and giving thanks, Tooru took one bite and started bawling.

It was a struggle to eat while he was choking on his sobs and his tears clouded his vision and fell into his bowl, but he managed. Hanamaki looked on without interfering, knowing that Tooru needed this.

It felt so damn good to let it all go.

Once his bowl was empty and Tooru had regained control of his breathing, Hanamaki pulled out a brown paper bag. “I picked this up on the way here. Are you feeling a little better now?”

Tooru accepted the bag and managed a small smile when he saw the milkbread within it. He tore a piece off and stuffed it in his mouth. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Good, otherwise I’d have failed as your best friend. Now, what are we gonna do?”

“What are we gonna do?” Tooru echoed. “I don’t think there’s much to do.”

“Hey, I can try and talk to him, get him to try and talk to you. I know you still care about him, and that’s not going away, so it might be good for you to figure out where you two stand. It’d be better than just cutting off all communication, don’t you think?”

Tooru hummed, settling into his seat. “Yeah. That’d be nice. Thanks, Takahiro.”

“It’s the least I can do, Tooru. Now, I also brought that one ice cream you like and recorded a lot of episodes of Doctor Who, so let’s get you over to the couch and we can forget about boys. Except for David Tennant.”

Tooru nodded sagely. “Except for David Tennant.”

\----------

Tooru got a text from Iwaizumi two days later.

<15:24> _Hey. We should probably talk._

Hanamaki really was a miracle worker, huh? He needed to do more nice things for him.

Or maybe he shouldn’t and this was the worst possible thing for Hanamaki to have done. What was there to say? How did he respond? Tooru stared at his reply for minutes before saying fuck it and pressing send.

<15:38> _yeah, probably._

<15:43> _If you want to do it now, you can come to my place. It’ll be short._

<15:45> _sure. im leaving in fifteen minutes._

Tooru wasn’t sure if he wanted it to be short, but he also didn’t know how much there was to be said.

He wanted Iwaizumi to suffer for his decision, though, so he put on skinny jeans that made his legs look phenomenal and left an extra button undone on his shirt.

Making his way up to Iwaizumi’s apartment had never been harder. The walls felt like they didn’t give him enough space to move, and the elevator ride made him feel nauseous.

The door was unlocked. Tooru almost laughed. Walking in felt too easy.

Iwaizumi was waiting for him on the step above the genkan, though he was still shorter than Tooru.

Tooru remained on the genkan, not bothering to take his shoes off. “Hello, Iwaizumi-sensei.”

“Oikawa.”

They looked at each other for a few moments, Tooru noting the purpling bruise on his cheek as he waited for Iwaizumi to start talking.

Iwaizumi sighed and gave in. “I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have just walked off, but I was panicking and I didn’t know what else to do. I still can’t accept, though.”

“Why can’t you just say that you don’t reciprocate my feelings?” Tooru wished that there had been more bite behind his words, but they came out pleading. “It would be so much easier on both of us.”

“I can’t say that, either.”

Iwaizumi was impossible, wasn’t he? Tooru could see that he was getting nowhere with his current line of questioning, so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he saw his own tired expression looking back at him. “Fine. You can’t say that you don’t like me, and you can’t say why you don’t want to date me. What can you say?”

Tooru watched as Iwaizumi hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “I don’t want to lose you forever. I don’t want to stop being friends with you.”

“God, don’t you know that I want that, too?” How could he possibly start to explain to Iwaizumi that he wanted him so badly, he wouldn’t be able to go back to what they had? He couldn’t just stop his Niagara Falls of emotion from flowing. “But right now it’s all or nothing. My feelings are still on the table, and probably will be for a long time. If you ever choose to accept them, I’ll be there. Just let me know if you change your mind.” It felt like he had finally released a breath he had been holding for far too long. “I’m going to leave it at that. Do you have anything else to say?”

Iwaizumi wordlessly shook his head.

“Fine. Then I guess I’ll be going.”

Iwaizumi didn’t try to stop him as he left.

\----------

Tooru settled down at the piano in his basement, a new set of blank staves in front of him. He let his fingers roam across the keys until they settled into the rut of a melody.

He listened to the sound as he mindlessly repeated the same few bars over and over. It was just simple chords, but it would do well to fill out the track. It was forceful enough. It was desperate enough. He could imagine a few chords pulled from it complementing the vocals, lining up with the lyrics that he had tweaked since he had first written them.

He still only had the beginnings of a chorus, but he liked what he had.

_I would fall from the stars_

_Just to be in your arms._

_I feel you. I hope you comprehend_

Because though Iwaizumi clearly didn’t understand Tooru, Tooru certainly understood Iwaizumi. He understood the wish to deny and suppress something that was so clearly there, understood the wish to go back to what was, since it was always easier in that simpler place.

The difference was that Iwaizumi kept reaching back, whereas Tooru had learned how to move forward and accept reality.

The one thing Tooru didn’t understand was why Iwaizumi couldn’t do the same.

Iwaizumi clearly didn’t feel nothing. That fact had coursed under the surface of his expression and his words, neither taking a firm stance on the matter of Tooru’s bared heart. What made him unwilling to accept it was what Tooru wanted explained.

He didn’t want to know how long it would take to get Iwaizumi to do that, though. Maybe there would be a too late.

\----------

Days passed and Tooru did his best to remember to do the simple things. He almost ate every day, and he hadn’t pulled any consecutive all-nighters. He tried to act normally, putting up a cheerful facade around the studio and his friends, but that didn’t stop worried glances from being sent his way, even by people who didn’t know what the situation was.

“Hey. It’s really late. You need to go home,” Watari said, entering the studio Tooru had been holed up in for an undefinable number of hours.

“I just have to finish this, then I’ll go. Besides, you’re not my mom.”

“Yeah, but you are my friend, so I need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You’ve been doing really well for a while, and I don’t want you to stop.”

Watari’s concern was honestly touching. “OK, Watachi. I’ll even pick up dinner on the way home. There’s nothing for you to worry about,” Tooru said, doing his best to make his smile convincing.

Watari seemed to buy it, as he nodded and walked off.

When he was alone again, Tooru collapsed back into himself.

Watari had been right. It had been ages since he had gotten like this, where he had gotten so preoccupied with music that he forgot to take care of himself. He felt pathetic knowing that his relapse had been caused by the aftershock of a stupid crush not working out, but he had always gotten out of these times after a while. He just hoped that this would be the same, and in the future the emptiness in his chest would subside enough to let him feel mostly whole again.

Why couldn’t Iwaizumi have just braved whatever fears he had been facing? Why couldn’t he have seen that Tooru would have filled all of the cracks, taken care of all of the obstacles? Why couldn’t he have jumped, when Tooru would have been there to catch him?

With a heavy sigh, Tooru tried to push it all down. He had songs to compose.

\----------

It was almost a month later. They hadn’t talked since their last encounter. He had been right, the hole Iwaizumi had left in his life was embarrassingly large.

It was in the little things, like missing the feeling Tooru got whenever he made Iwaizumi laugh. It was in the big things, like wasting away on a Sunday afternoon when normally Tooru would have asked to hang out.

It was getting better, though. He had plenty of other friends to talk to, and smiling soon came effortlessly again. Matsukawa sometimes joined in on his and Hanamaki’s escapades, and Tooru didn’t feel like his presence was intrusive or weighted with unspoken tension.

If only Iwaizumi was there to make it great. Tooru would let him reclaim the spot he had formerly occupied with no resistance; Iwaizumi just needed to reach out and take it.

Tooru almost thought he was dreaming when he finally did.

The name seemed foreign popping up on his screen again, and also like it had never been gone for more than a day.

<17:48> _Hi. Are you free anytime soon?_

<17:51> _yeah? today or later or what?_

<17:53> _Today might be best, but it can wait if you can’t make that._

<17:54> _i can leave for ur apartment rn if u want_

<17:54> _Ok. That sounds good._

Tooru honestly didn’t know what he was getting into. The trip up to Iwaizumi’s apartment felt like it was happening in slow motion, and he was hyper aware of each step, each inhale, each door he passed on the way there.

It felt like the world stopped spinning when he finally reached his destination. The door simultaneously repelled and attracted him, leaving Tooru uncertain as to if he actually wanted to do this.

He decided it would be better for his sanity if he knocked and got it over with.

The door was opened moments later, Iwaizumi looking right at him.

At first glance, he looked exactly the same. When Tooru looked closer, he noticed the signs of wear in the shadows below his eyes, in the slump of his shoulders.

“So? Are you coming in?” Iwaizumi said, moving aside so Tooru could enter.

He stepped inside wordlessly. After a nod from Iwaizumi, Tooru slipped his shoes off and put on the pair of guest slippers he had always worn.

Iwaizumi led Tooru to the couch. They sat on opposite sides, looking at each other.

“So? Are you gonna tell me why you wanted me to come?” Tooru said, clearing the way for Iwaizumi to start talking.

Iwaizumi buried his head in his hands and muttered something intelligible.

“Iwaizumi-sensei, you need to speak up if you want me to understand what you’re saying.”

“I missed you, alright?”

Tooru snorted a laugh. “Well, you didn’t have to. But if all you wanted was my company, I have to say that I’m not ready to go back to just being friends.”

“I know. I just figured it was finally time to...give you an explanation? I guess?” Iwaizumi said, face screwing up with uncertainty. It was unfair how cute he still was, even after breaking Tooru’s heart.

Tooru motioned for him to continue, figuring that he may as well hear him out.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath, evidently steeling himself for whatever he had to say. “The idea of being with you is one of the few things that has ever terrified me, Oikawa. For multiple reasons.”

Tooru couldn’t tell you what he was expecting, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t that. He figured it was better to let Iwaizumi talk, though, so he kept his face carefully blank as he waited for Iwaizumi to continue.

“First, I don’t belong in your world. I don’t think I ever will, but I don’t think I could date you without getting thrown head first into all of that. It’s kinda like what I said at the party. I’m just me, and I can’t fit in, but I couldn’t reasonably ask you to stop being friends with everybody and living your lifestyle just so that I wouldn’t get overwhelmed. I would also be in the public eye, and I don’t want that, either. I don’t want to be judged by the tabloids or have our dates get scrutinized. I don’t want my kids to potentially be exposed to any of that, too. It’s just…no matter how much I do want to go out with Oikawa Tooru, who loves space and milkbread and mains King Dedede in Smash, I can’t have that without the Oikawa Tooru who can’t go on trains and is constantly being watched by the world. Believe me when I say I want to, so so much. Not being around you recently has been shit. It’s just hard for me to say that it’s worth the stress of everything else. And… God, I hate myself for saying this, too, but I’m just scared that _that_ Oikawa Tooru’ll lose interest and it wouldn’t have been worth it in the first place. It’s happened before and I don’t want it to happen again.”

After Iwaizumi finished his speech, Tooru took a few moments to process what he said. He blinked slowly as Iwaizumi waited for his response.

“Iwaizumi Hajime, what the _fuck._ Do you have so little faith in me that you won’t even take a chance on this? I would give up all of my fame and fortune for you and make my living by playing for tips in the street if that’s what it took. I could keep you sequestered away from the public if that’s what you want. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make you comfortable. You just need to let me try. I will not fail you, and if I did, you could leave and I would make sure that nobody remembers your name or recognizes your face. I will make it worth it, I promise you that,” Tooru said, more aggressively than he had anticipated. He tried to reel it back. “Like I said, you mean so much to me, and I’d go to the ends of the earth to make this work. I’m not afraid to meet you where you are. I won’t just throw you away. I don’t do that.”

“Shit, you mean a lot to me, too. I believed you when you said that you’d give me the world, but I don’t want that, and I don’t want you to try to do that and then realize that you’ve been wasting your time, and by then I’ve ended up wasting mine.”

“You are not a waste of time. I think you’re the most stunning and incredible person in every room you’re in. You could never be a waste of time, or I wouldn’t like you this much. I’ve wanted this for months, Iwa-chan. I just need you to tell me that you want it, too.”

Iwaizumi sunk into the couch, looking at Tooru forlornly. “How can that be me when it’s always been you? You’re so fucking hard to resist. God, just- just give me a moment to think.”

Tooru wanted to yell that Iwaizumi already knew his answer, but by the sheer strength of his willpower he forced himself to watch as Iwaizumi’s face screwed up in concentration.

_Please. Please choose me._

“Fine. Fine, fuck it.” Iwaizumi’s smile was small, but filled with hope. “I’ll give it a shot.”

Tooru wanted to hope, too. He moved closer and grabbed one of Iwaizumi’s hands in his. “And you’re sure you want this? We both know that all of the problems won’t just disappear, so I don’t want you to force yourself into this. I don’t want you to regret it.”

“Yeah. I want to try. I think I’ve realized that I’ll regret it more if I don’t.”

“Good,” Tooru said, bringing Iwaizumi’s hand to his lips and pressing a kiss against his knuckles. “I’m so glad I hit you with my car.”

“I’m glad that you didn’t get charged with any crimes,” Iwaizumi laughed, before turning serious again. “Can we just take this slow for now? Until I can really get used to it? I don’t want to see my name in the tabloids until I feel more comfortable with the idea of being known, I guess.”

“Of course,” Tooru affirmed. “Not a word of this to the press, got it. I can tell my friends, though, right? After all the shit I put them through, they probably deserve to know.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. I’m sorry about that, though. Makki told me it was… rough.”

He would have to drill Hanamaki for what he had told Iwaizumi later. For now, he would have to pick his words carefully; he didn’t want Iwaizumi to worry. “You do mean more to me than you should, and not having you anymore was like a shock to my system. It was hard to cope. I’m fine now, though, since I can call you my boyfriend. I can call you my boyfriend, right?”

“I’d like to be boyfriends,” Iwaizumi hummed in response, before a realization seemed to hit him and he pulled Tooru close. Tooru sighed into the hug, realizing himself how much he had missed this. It felt damn good to be back in Iwaizumi’s orbit, back in his life.

He didn’t know how long they laid on the couch, pressed against each other, trying to make up for the time they should have spent together. This moment of bliss was worth all of the suffering of the last month, though.

“Hey,” Tooru whispered, afraid to break the reverie. “Can I take you out on an actual date on Saturday?”

“Of course,” Iwaizumi replied, shifting impossibly closer. “I don’t have anything planned.”

“Good.”

“Do I get to know what we’re doing?”

Tooru laughed, joy making his head feel light. “No, it’s a surprise.”

“Figured.”

Eventually, Tooru did have to leave, much to his dismay. He felt like he was floating all the way down to his car, and the feeling of euphoria followed him all of the way home.

When he got there, he opened up his group chat with Hanamaki and Sugawara.

 _Tooru_ <23:01> _☆*:.｡.((o(≧▽≦)o)).｡.:*☆_

 _Makki_ <23:03> _Wait what wahts goig on_

 _Tooru_ <23:03> _u guys gave me so much shit the last time i didnt tell u smth immediately so now im telling both of u at once_

 _Suga_ <23:04> _What is it though u bitch tell me literally right now_

 _Makki_ <23:04> _Gasp isi t wat I think it is_

 _Tooru_ <23:05> _idk what u thought it was but i just cuddled with iwachan for at least an hour_  
_Tooru_ <23:05> _were dating now lol_

 _Suga_ <23:06> _OIKAWA TOORU WHAT THE FUCK_  
_Suga_ <23:06> _HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN_

 _Makki_ <23:06> _THATS NTO WHAT I THOGUHT ITWAS ITS OS MCUH BAETTER_  
 _Makki_ <23:07> _STOERUY NOW_

 _Tooru_ <23:09> _i mean as u kno iwachan and i havent been talking for the last month or so but he texted me today and was like i wanna talk and i went along with it because its iwachan yknow so i went over and he was venting abt why he was scared about dating me but then i was like its literally fine i would give up the world for u and he finally succumbed to my charm and wit and then we laid on the couch together for a really long fuckin time and yea todays the best day of my life. im allowed to tell u guys but ur not allowed to leak it tho_

 _Suga_ <23:09> _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 _Makki_ <23:09> _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 _Tooru_ <23:10> _shut up u 2 r so embarrassing anyways we have an actual date on saturday_  
 _Tooru_ <23:10> _i get to hold his hand and everything!!!!!! (*≧ω≦*)_

 _Makki_ <23:11> _Waiot i just told mattsun and he didn’t know uet,,, u gotta tell ur boyf hes a disappointmnet amd will be punichsed for breakign the bro coed_

 _Tooru_ <23:11> _im p sure u have his number tell him urself and let me live my honeymoon phase for one goddamn second_

 _Suga_ <23:12> _I mean its literally impossible for u to have a honeymoon phase since he stomped ur heart into little bits before u even started dating but go off ig_

 _Tooru_ <23:12> _thats the past tho i only care about the future and its looking bright~~_

 _Makki_ <23:12> _Ok we gert it youre in love you can shut uip now_

 _Tooru_ <23:13> _ur so rude!! ur hurting my feelings!!_

 _Suga_ <23:13> _See this is why im ur best friend i would never betray u like this_

 _Tooru_ <23:13> _haha yea fuck u makki sugas my best friend now_

 _Makki_ <23:14> _G ASP_

Tooru put his phone on its charger, leaving them to brawl it out. He could deal with them later. For now, he was content to go to bed with the lingering scent of Iwaizumi still clinging to his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, let it be known that I do have a heart and can't keep angst up for too long. It's my weakness. You will never see me write anything without a happy ending. I mean, it's not like there isn't going to be more angst, I'm just giving you some respite.
> 
> Go read Waterloo!!! Do it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253774) if you haven't already!!

**Author's Note:**

> Have a good day! 
> 
> Feel free to have a meltdown about Haikyuu!! with me on Instagram: [@_oof_ouch_](https://www.instagram.com/_oof_ouch_/) . When I get around to it I post art and writing updates over there~


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